Restless, sweaty and bothered...

*sigh* Another entry for today..wahahaha..

I am feeling restless. Darn restless. In addition to the restlessness, I am feeling rather sweaty and bothered. Why? I can somehow hear peepz going to say "Not another emotional unstability syndrome.." or whatever it is...huhuhuh...but...

"The aircond is out of order!!", screamed my sister, sounding very horrified with the fact. I became annoyed.

There goes my first so-called wonderful day of 2008. In my humid, warm home. Without the airconditioner. And with lots of complaints from my mom. Plus mine, as I whined about how HOT it is. The fans didn't help a tiny bit. It's just making the air inside the home much much 'irritating'. And my eczema threatens to annoyingly becoming itchy. Yes, I am scratching my back right now while I blog. Urgh...Thank God, it's raining heavily now!!! I wish I can get the hell out of this HOT place and shower under the heavy rain..Wawawawa~ But...it's night time, and it's dark...and I might get a flu...*ponders*

Now I'm just distracting myself by listening to the songs playing in my playlist..Aha! Bad idea...I found my brain starts to play its own song of choice...what song? The song he told me to listen to. Toinks...yeah, you guess it. Avenged SevenFold - Dear God. And I am, horrifyingly, singing to it. Hahaha. Owh gosh, I need a life!!! Life without him!! *mumbling nonsense*

"All the faults of that VCD I saw this afternoon!!!", my brain starts to give its own reason. What VCD? Urgh, I tengok ceta Melayu ler...9 September. Darn, the movie did helpfully helped me reminisced my memories with him~ Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!! Terribly...urgh, godaan tah banar~ *jeling pat handphone* Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!! Such temptations~~~~ God, make me strong~ Don't let me do it...no, no, no, noooo~

Okay..enough of my craps...tomorrow I'll be back to Bandar. Urgh...too much memories...I may not make it to the 3rd day!!! AAAAAAAAhhhhh......Someone, please just knock some senses into me~~ :S

I gotta leave. I need to stuff myself with food. Foods are the best distraction right now. Hahaha. I am gonna be a fatso!! Darn...Let mejust seek solace in foods...lalalalala~

With Love,
Kisho [229]

"Give me strength, give me courage...give me what I deserve...huhuu..two days left to go before I end my abstinence.."

Happy New Year 2008!! With Love...:D

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!"

Gosh, imagine me screaming that out! Haha. It may be a bit late to post about 'stepping into the new year' but anyway, that's it~ We're in 2008 now!! May I pause for a bit and just imagine me screaming....

"GIVE ME A FCUKING HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008!!!!"

Well, ehem...that was kinda full of angst from within me. Haha. Yesh, we're now in year 2008. Gosh, it seemed like it was just yesterday that I was stepping into the year 2007, and now...2008!!!? And so, um, what is the first thing I did for new year? Aha! I am currently avoiding going online in MSN, so don't try to find me there. I am basically reachable only by text messages or phone calls. Why do such prosposterous thing?? Huhu. Just wanna see how long I can withstand not having myself online in MSN..wawawa. And yesh, I am avoiding to misscall or text messaging him too. Why oh why? Well, let's just say, I need a break and maybe, just maybe, he'll feel a loss when I'm doing this. Sometimes, it just gets tiring to pursue and act...Huhu. I am acting crazy, outta my mind...Lalalalaa~

2007..well, lots of things had happened. Lots of things that I shouldn't say here because I'm just lazy to do so. Haha. 2007 was a year of experimenting for me. Short hairs, changes in personal style, new experiences of meeting new people, hang out til early morning etc. Too much to count, too much to say. I love 2007, because I have so many memories that I really appreciate and memories that were too painful to bear. A year where I see that sometimes, people just change for the worst or the better.A year where I get to see some betrayals and the masks that people wear in front of others.. A year where I saw my colleagues, my dearest 18th intake mates having their jobs...A year where lots of internal emotional confusion happened inside me. A year where I found out that it's better to be who I really am, no matter how much it disappoints others...and a year, where I am still devoted to the one I love, no matter how cruel he treats me...

As I stepped into 2008, I began to wonder about my future. Uncertainty. That's what I'm feeling. Similar to what Daus is saying in his bloggy. Haha. Results will be out somewhere in February, hopefully. What will I do then? How well did I do? What will I have to expect? I just don't know...perhaps I will find the answers sooner or later...

I also wonder about my friendships and my relationship with him. How long can I stand here for them? How much can I sacrifice for them? Am I adequate as a friend, to help them in need and to share with them in their pain and happiness? Will there be 'us' for me and him? Questions and more questions...

At times, I feel it's better to be alone. Having not to care about the world and anyone. Being selfish in my own world. Not having to hurt or be bruised emotionally. Not having to carry responsibilities of our lives. But it's impossible. There's no way to run, no place to hide...and I shall live here, as me, accepted or unaccepted by the world revolving around me..Just like a lyric from one of my current favourite songs...

"Namun aku tetap aku, yang terbaik untuk diriku....hanya satu..."

And so, everyone...let's embrace 2008 with hope and happiness~ We are the best of our own self!! Happy New Year everyone....happy new year~ :D

With love,

Kisho [229]

"I keep reminiscing our [sweet] memories together...how I wish it can just disappear and I'll leave you with a heart of stone...but it won't happen as there's too much light of sunshine [love] from those days where there's you [and] me..."

I'm at WYWY and the connection sux..:S

Update~ wawawawa...

I wanted to update on my trip to KL but....for some fcuking reasons, the blogger had problems in uploading it...Owh mannnnn!! Tym ku rajin, miani taya jadi nya...Membari garam ati..wawawa~ Guess I'll have to postpone it to another later date...grrrrr~

Oh well, I'm happy today~ Yesh, you guess it right~ I've made up with him, berbaik kami udah...wawawawa~ Oh sayangkuuu...I lurbe yewhhhhhh to da max~~ Kinda awkward when he went online and I was, toink, afraid to chat with him... Tapi it soon went well~ Yeay....Alhamdulillah~ Tanpa keberanian mimpi tak bermakna...LOL~

Right now, I'm currently sitting in WYWY, dining with my sista and enjoying my wireless connection...wawawa...tapi lagging jua..geez~ No like eh...had an egg burger, nyum2...and my Yam bubble pearl tea...hehehe...

oKAHYY~~ I've seen 'I am Legend' on DVD last night~ Aha! For me, it was a so-so. Post-apocalyptic movie with CGIs...wawawa... I'm not really a fan on these type of movie and this movie just attracted me with its theatrical trailer...okay laaaa~ I got a bit sad on the part where *spoilers* the doggy died *spoilers* Kinda liked the doggy because she seems intelligent~ Hahaha...did you know that the doggy has never been trained to act in any movies before?? Even Will Smith came to adore the doggy~ Toink...But anyway, like I said, it was a so-so. I haven't seen the first movie adaptation named 'I am Omega' yet...so I don't know which is better...hahaha~ Bah aku start merepek ni...I can't concentrate criticizing in the current environment i am in...toinkz~

So that's all for now..wawawa...malash taya ku...the smell of food is just so hypnotizing~Oh gawd...I just have to watch for my diet...wawawawa~

Lurbe,
Kisho [229]

"[015] I lurbe yewhhh very muchieee....make me yours..wawawawa!! Strategy one in progress.."

Update g...wawawa, lum g sal KL ni..:P

Okay..I'll just update a bit more for today...anyway, I can't update about my trip to KL due to the 'cost' it would take to upload the pictures and all.. Hahaha...

But anyway, my sincerest thanks to Potty for accompanying me to KB the other day. It was a day worth it all for me although you were a bit sad back then. Aja aja fightee Pot! :D Yeah, a day full of hope and happiness and spontaneous excitement...wawawawa...but well, I'm not currently as happy as that now.

What did I get after going to KB?

- A full tummy..wawawawa....a.k.a kana belanja makan di WYWY...yeay~
- A DVD set of Korean drama series "The Coffee Prince" (kana balikan..wawawa)
- Meeting him..:) and finding out more things about him..:)
- Meeting his mother, grandmother, auntie and his sister...toinkzz!
- Not forgetting, meeting his cousin, Nurul and another cousin, Amy.
- Spending time with Potty again after a LONG time..wawawa..

Weeeell....that's what I got from going to KB the other day..not much but it will be enough. And oh, he asked me to listen to a song "Avenged Sevenfold - Dear God"...Here are the lyrics...

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dear God[Feat. Axl Rose]

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
’Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleepsand all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you
is to hold her when I'm not around,when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
’Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
when hope begins to fade..

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,when I'm much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
’Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

So what do you peepz think? I felt a bit sad after listening and reading the lyrics..as if, it was for me but I'm not sure...I didn't get to ask him. But anyway, it's a cool song too. Huhu. Lawa when you hear after quite some time.

Well, I just hoped us for the better...*sigh* Damn, I miss him...:S

Anyway, I want to see 'I am Legend'!!! I want to see "Alvin and the Chipmunks"!!! Uwaaaahhh....I wanna see, em, apa lagi ah?? I forgot... I have a lot of movies that I wanna see...wawawawa~ Tapi when? Hopefully soon...wawawa, and I'll do the reviews~ Batah udah nda buat reviews ani eh...wawawa..

And oh, I'll be back in college on 2/1/08 to prepare for the KL presentation on 19/1/08....wow, 2008!! Nda sangka-sangka...it's been like what, so sudden for me...but 2007 is a 'happening' year for me.. Will truly treasure what I had in 2007...and hope things will improve more in 2008. Chai-yo!!! Ganbate-ne!!! Semangat!!

Lurbe,
Kisho [229]

"Dear God, watch over him with my endless prayers..."

Kinda like an update but...:X

I am back from KL...

Will post gambar2 dari KL later...Right now, I just don't have the mood to do so...malashhhhh...

And it's sux a lot with him now when it supoosed to be happily ever after...or kinda somewhat like that...

Urgh!

And i went to the Pelangi Awards...Congratz to Maria~ Mantap suaramuuuu~~ LOL...and congratz unepxectedly to Zul F..toink..The Seeds, congratz too!

And that's all...I'm too damn lazyeh....

Lurbe,
Kisho [229]

A moment in KL~ :P

Hello peepz,

I'm in KL!!!! wHOO-Hoo!!

However, it's not as fun as I had expected. Duh. I am under emotional stress and the situation now is not helping me at all. I am FUCKED UP~ Totally..Hahaha~

Anyway, clinical placement in HKL was...no comment. *shut the mouth up* Shopping was great, hahaha! I had a high fever yesterday and I twisted my ankle today. Bad tough luck eyh? And I cried this afternoon, after returning from work. Hohoho.

Well, that's life for me now. Sigh. Hope everything will turn to be okay in the next few days. Keep my fingers crossed~ Hehehe...

And as usual, I miss him. The one and only. And I wonder, what is it that he wants to show me when I return to Brunei? Huhuhu..Nda ku sabar kan balik but I am feeling anxious too..:)

Lurbe,

Kisho [229]

"I am in a distressing life...Oh God, please help me..."