I'm at WYWY and the connection sux..:S

Update~ wawawawa...

I wanted to update on my trip to KL but....for some fcuking reasons, the blogger had problems in uploading it...Owh mannnnn!! Tym ku rajin, miani taya jadi nya...Membari garam ati..wawawa~ Guess I'll have to postpone it to another later date...grrrrr~

Oh well, I'm happy today~ Yesh, you guess it right~ I've made up with him, berbaik kami udah...wawawawa~ Oh sayangkuuu...I lurbe yewhhhhhh to da max~~ Kinda awkward when he went online and I was, toink, afraid to chat with him... Tapi it soon went well~ Yeay....Alhamdulillah~ Tanpa keberanian mimpi tak bermakna...LOL~

Right now, I'm currently sitting in WYWY, dining with my sista and enjoying my wireless connection...wawawa...tapi lagging jua..geez~ No like eh...had an egg burger, nyum2...and my Yam bubble pearl tea...hehehe...

oKAHYY~~ I've seen 'I am Legend' on DVD last night~ Aha! For me, it was a so-so. Post-apocalyptic movie with CGIs...wawawa... I'm not really a fan on these type of movie and this movie just attracted me with its theatrical trailer...okay laaaa~ I got a bit sad on the part where *spoilers* the doggy died *spoilers* Kinda liked the doggy because she seems intelligent~ Hahaha...did you know that the doggy has never been trained to act in any movies before?? Even Will Smith came to adore the doggy~ Toink...But anyway, like I said, it was a so-so. I haven't seen the first movie adaptation named 'I am Omega' yet...so I don't know which is better...hahaha~ Bah aku start merepek ni...I can't concentrate criticizing in the current environment i am in...toinkz~

So that's all for now..wawawa...malash taya ku...the smell of food is just so hypnotizing~Oh gawd...I just have to watch for my diet...wawawawa~

Lurbe,
Kisho [229]

"[015] I lurbe yewhhh very muchieee....make me yours..wawawawa!! Strategy one in progress.."

Update g...wawawa, lum g sal KL ni..:P

Okay..I'll just update a bit more for today...anyway, I can't update about my trip to KL due to the 'cost' it would take to upload the pictures and all.. Hahaha...

But anyway, my sincerest thanks to Potty for accompanying me to KB the other day. It was a day worth it all for me although you were a bit sad back then. Aja aja fightee Pot! :D Yeah, a day full of hope and happiness and spontaneous excitement...wawawawa...but well, I'm not currently as happy as that now.

What did I get after going to KB?

- A full tummy..wawawawa....a.k.a kana belanja makan di WYWY...yeay~
- A DVD set of Korean drama series "The Coffee Prince" (kana balikan..wawawa)
- Meeting him..:) and finding out more things about him..:)
- Meeting his mother, grandmother, auntie and his sister...toinkzz!
- Not forgetting, meeting his cousin, Nurul and another cousin, Amy.
- Spending time with Potty again after a LONG time..wawawa..

Weeeell....that's what I got from going to KB the other day..not much but it will be enough. And oh, he asked me to listen to a song "Avenged Sevenfold - Dear God"...Here are the lyrics...

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dear God[Feat. Axl Rose]

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
’Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleepsand all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you
is to hold her when I'm not around,when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
’Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
when hope begins to fade..

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,when I'm much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
’Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

So what do you peepz think? I felt a bit sad after listening and reading the lyrics..as if, it was for me but I'm not sure...I didn't get to ask him. But anyway, it's a cool song too. Huhu. Lawa when you hear after quite some time.

Well, I just hoped us for the better...*sigh* Damn, I miss him...:S

Anyway, I want to see 'I am Legend'!!! I want to see "Alvin and the Chipmunks"!!! Uwaaaahhh....I wanna see, em, apa lagi ah?? I forgot... I have a lot of movies that I wanna see...wawawawa~ Tapi when? Hopefully soon...wawawa, and I'll do the reviews~ Batah udah nda buat reviews ani eh...wawawa..

And oh, I'll be back in college on 2/1/08 to prepare for the KL presentation on 19/1/08....wow, 2008!! Nda sangka-sangka...it's been like what, so sudden for me...but 2007 is a 'happening' year for me.. Will truly treasure what I had in 2007...and hope things will improve more in 2008. Chai-yo!!! Ganbate-ne!!! Semangat!!

Lurbe,
Kisho [229]

"Dear God, watch over him with my endless prayers..."

Kinda like an update but...:X

I am back from KL...

Will post gambar2 dari KL later...Right now, I just don't have the mood to do so...malashhhhh...

And it's sux a lot with him now when it supoosed to be happily ever after...or kinda somewhat like that...

Urgh!

And i went to the Pelangi Awards...Congratz to Maria~ Mantap suaramuuuu~~ LOL...and congratz unepxectedly to Zul F..toink..The Seeds, congratz too!

And that's all...I'm too damn lazyeh....

Lurbe,
Kisho [229]

A moment in KL~ :P

Hello peepz,

I'm in KL!!!! wHOO-Hoo!!

However, it's not as fun as I had expected. Duh. I am under emotional stress and the situation now is not helping me at all. I am FUCKED UP~ Totally..Hahaha~

Anyway, clinical placement in HKL was...no comment. *shut the mouth up* Shopping was great, hahaha! I had a high fever yesterday and I twisted my ankle today. Bad tough luck eyh? And I cried this afternoon, after returning from work. Hohoho.

Well, that's life for me now. Sigh. Hope everything will turn to be okay in the next few days. Keep my fingers crossed~ Hehehe...

And as usual, I miss him. The one and only. And I wonder, what is it that he wants to show me when I return to Brunei? Huhuhu..Nda ku sabar kan balik but I am feeling anxious too..:)

Lurbe,

Kisho [229]

"I am in a distressing life...Oh God, please help me..."

Addicted to this song..:P

Ajai feat Tunku Mimi Wahida - Kayangan (Kayangan OST)

Bukan aku tak cinta padamu,
Bukan aku tak sayang padamu,
Tapi harus ku berdiam diri,
Kerna itu yang terbaik.

Telah ku tunjuk kepadamu, ( tunjukanlah woo… wo.. )
Telah ku katakan pada hatiku, ( katakan padaku )
Tapi tak pernah ku nyatakanya, ( nyatakan hasratmu )
Kepadamu sejujurnya. ( yang dikau cinta padaku )

CHORUS
Bukan niat untuk mengecewakan mu kasih,
Tapi kau tahu,
Cinta sukar bersama,
Kerana diriku,
Tidak dapat lafazkan kata-kata cinta.

Kita hanya bertentang mata,
Hati pun mula bicara cinta,
Cintamu dan cintaku,
Tak ada hujungnya,
Tuhan saja yang akan akhirkan cerita.

Akhirkan cerita cinta, ( cinta kita )
Cerita cinta kayangan, ( cinta dikayangan )
Ikut saja kata hati, ( kau dihati )
Mungkin cinta kan bersemi, ( oh bidadari )
Antara engkau (dan aku).

Bukan aku tak cinta padamu, ( ku cinta padamu )
Bukan aku tak sayang padamu, ( ku sayang padamu )
Ikut saja kata hati,
Mungkin cinta kan bersemi,
Antara engkau dan aku.

Cinta kayangan kita
Cinta kau dan aku

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Addicted to this one..Haha. I am soooooooooo 'jiwang' plus emo.LOL. Well, I am what I am. Different from the others but still human. :P

"These questions in my mind are so much bigger than life."

3 days of 'bejaur-ing'..

Me and my sista, otw ke Miri...ani kes buring~ wawawa..lookit da pimples, eek!!

My sista eksen2 pose liat2 mags...wawawa..

Those ummm, cute beautiful boxes of cookies from Famous Amos~ balikannn~ :P

My sista eksen2 candid pose...wawawawa...mental ko ah!

Yes, me and my sista again...this time, near a Christmas tree pat Bintang Plaza.

Me, enjoying my Pizza Hut BBQ Spicy Wings...Nyaman~~ :P

My new slippers~ yeszaa...

FRIDAY (23/11) :


Went to Miri with da family in late afternoon. Shopped there ( well I didn't exactly shop sal budget limited edition..wawawa.) Bought Potty's Revive and just a couple of things for myself. A new toothbrush. My Olay moisturiser. A can of Yeo's Q aloe vera grape drink (which is not available in Brunei, buring ah..nyaman kali ah..lol). A new non-slip slippers. Wawawawa. Took some pictures with my sista, who was 'iski' tapi managed only some pictures because I lost my mood during shopping time. Hohoho. Hanya tani2 saja yang tau tuh Pot~Kekeke...

And oh, my!! I finally found those black bracelets I've been DYING to get. Sadly, nada budget ku. No money, no buy loh. I only caught glimpses of them and felt my heart broken. Aiseh..not broken but more to bruised...really. I want THOSE!!!

Back at home, it was about 8pm. Slept late. Again. This time I slept at 2am. Haha. This answers why I have pimply face now!! OH no~~~ :S Oxy, oxy~kekekkee...



SATURDAY (24/11) :


Returned to the hostel late in the morning and took a nap for awhile. Bangun dari my short nap, I went online and chatted with whomever was available. Got really bored and so, jalan. Pikir kan shopping skajap ja di Batu Besurat tapi I ended up going 'menyukat' Gadong and Kiulap. Lapas atu, due to extreme boredom and having that loneliness gnawing inside me, I went to Tutong. Hahaha. Sanggup tuhuskan minyak kereta ani wah!! Went to a friend's house, tapi ya nada and so decided to drop by to Kubamz's house. There, I 'lepak' from 6pm to 9pm. Wanted to sleep over there but I didn't bring any of my clothes to change into in the morning. Drove back to Bandar and back to hostel where I saw Daus with Yoyo. Got out, Daus approached me and well, we went gossiping and talked and chatted and 'bejabir' from my car sampai ke parking lot di hostel atu until it was 11pm. Haha. Atu pun kes terpaksa end at 11pm because the female hostel's gate will be locked at that time. Lau nda, panjang lagi taya kali bicara kami dua. Haha! Had another great time chit-chat with you lah Daus. Let's do that again next time. :D


Went to my room and I went online. Potty thought I went to KB~ Hahaa. Atooooo terer ku sorang2 kan ke KB~~ LOL..then explained to her that I didn't but I did think of going to KB, wanted to meet him. Hahaha. So we basically chatted as usual and Potty surrendered to sleep at about 2am. I still kept awake until it was 4am. Strangely, I didn't remember what I was doing sampai tido kul 4am. Haha. What WAS I doing?!!!

SUNDAY (25/11):

Woke up kinda early. Got SMSed by him. Haha. And he misscalled me first. Which is a weird thing. Replied his SMS and we went SMS-ing each other sampai sadang jua tuhusnya our 3g prepaid credits. Then he surrendered to his sleep. LOL. Aaah, after that, I went online and chatted with some peepz. Chatted with Nurul and fooled her into thinking I was in RIPAS, kan melawat ya. Hahaha. But then, of course, took a quick shower and off I went to RIPAS.

Went straight to Burn Unit where my dear Shidah dalenk was waiting. We chatted for a couple of minutes before she's off from duty. Then we made a phone call to dear Potty who was being in-charge of the day. LOL. Suprised you, didn't I? Made a plan to visit Nurul's father and me and my Shidah went to Ward 12 because Potty was nowhere yet to be found. I waited until Shidah had to go home and left waiting for Potty. Got Potty and off we went to visit Nurul's father. Met Nurul, joked a bit here and there. Haha. I was kinda speechless looking at her father who was lying there on the bed. It was..really scary in a way. Anyway, we left soon and targeted the canteen to have my so-called brunch.Toinkz, nada roti talo~ Oh mann...Potty then suggested to go to Faize in Beribi. So off we went there, but after Potty changed into her casual clothes.

Ate in Faize. Nyaman ruti talo nya. Wawawawa. Treat Pot for her ruti talo and her ice lemon tea. Then bincang-bincang mana kan jalan and urgh, I was seduced to go to KB. Haha. So we went to KB. Yes, we did. Sanggup c Pot sponsored minyak keta~ Hahaha..

Wanted to suprise our beloveds~ however, it didn't went through. Rusak plan!! And so after 'menyukat' Pandan for awhile, Potty's friend told us where they were and off we went to Soon Lee first, kan ke jamban, before heading to Gerai Simpur. And soooo....we arrived there, Potty met her cayang and the gang, lepak sana sampai about pukul 9pm. Siuk jua lah, happening. Hahaa. I had a great laugh hanging out with them, walaupun aku pendiam. Wawawa. Lum panas lagi wahh~ Then we went to cayang Potty's punya house at Pandan which was not far from his house. AhA!! Potty SMSed him to come over and soon after, he did. Then Potty went datenx sama cyg nya~I was left with himm..oho!

I admit, I was nervous. I didn't really want to see him as I looked him looking so tired and sleepy. Kesian eyh. And I know he wasn't that glad to see me because he knowsssss that we'll eventually talk a lot (well, it's him who will 'bejabir' a lot and I usually listened to him..) and for quite a longgggggg time (it won't be for an hour or so..lol..selalunya cematu la). Haha. But then well, we had our conversations in his car. Like usual, him always blurting out his problems and concerns. I listened. My hands were playing on his hair and I massaged his shoulders.*stoopid laugh* LOL. He was a bit unwell, he sniffled and sneezed and he has a blocked nose. I felt pity, but well, I wanted him to go back but then, he started to talk and talk and well, I'm just letting him talk. Haha. I didn't want it to end but it had to.

About 12am, we left KB. Otw to Bandar, I continuosly blabbered a lot. Haha. Palau Pot?:P Arrived at Potty's house at 1am. Didn't slept until it was 1.40am. Hahaha.

Well, that's all...fuh, what a longgggggggg post! :D

Lurbe,

Kisho [229]

??

I am BORED. And LONELY!!!

That is why I spent 3 hours, menyukat Brunei. And now, the wireless connection is toying with me. I am pathetically BORED!

And now, I've made a decision. I'm off to somewhere. Hahaha.

Daus tagged me~ U torturer!!

Daus tagged me and well, I guess I should answer, aight??

1. Tell us your name:
What name? Real name? Glamorous name? Haha. Real short name is Ummi, which means 'mother' in Arabic. Lau nama fullku, in Arabic maknanya 'ibu kebajikan'.Kisho is my so-called commercial name, which means 'he who knows himself'. Male name in Japan.

2. Three things about yourself:
Stubborn. Emotional. Single but taken.

3. What’s in your playlist:
Slow ballad songs, like Faizal Tahir's Kasih Tercipta and yada..yada..yada...mcm2 adaaa~

4. Your favourite music:
Slow ballad songs..huhu. That is just me.:D

5. Favourite guilty pleasure:
Shop til u broke! wawawa...mental~

6. Favourite food:
Chinese..hey, Daus pun sama? Kwang3x...but really, I love Chinese foods~

7. Define love:
Love is a part of life and it's unfair, MOST of the time!! Yet we are drawn to it, wanted or not~

8. Define sex:
Sex? Sex is the shortform word we used to define sexual intercourse.LOL...antamz saja lah. Make me sound stupid, duh~

9. Any celebrity crushes?:
Hohoho. Sapa ah? Ally Iskandar~ ;P

10. The last person you hugged:
Dling Dhirah~ mwahsss...cyg Dhirah owes~ makin akuuuu cintaaa~Hhahaha..Gay nyeee~

11. The last person you talked to:
My dad...told him that I'm off to hostel~

12. The last time you cried:
A few days' ago. Hoho. Like I said, I'm very emotional..kwang3x...

13. The last time you had sex:
Hahaha. Ask me this when I get married~ Lalalaalalala~ Perverts!!

14. The last time you made out:
Oh? Ask me this WHEN i got someone to snog~ LOL...

15. The last person you dated:
Him~ the one and only.. I'm just not up to dating again~ Nope, yup, yup, yup...besides, he has my heart. Haha. Cana kan bagi pat urang lain?:P

16. The last time you went out:
Went out with Potty ke Mall..huhuhu..

17. What’s on your mind now?:
Him!!!Love him~ Puke people, puke!! I am sorry to say I just can't stop saying about him! HAHAHA...

18. What’s bothering you?:
My life. Ditto.

19. This year’s resolutions:
I have no resolutions this year...what will happens, just happens...poyo je~

20. Your MSN nick:
[mie^229]Mahakarya Cinta

21. What’s your MSN nick about?:
Faizal Tahir's song, Mahakarya Cinta.I just absolutely love the song..hohoho~

22. The people you miss the most:
Him, and him, and him, and him. oh Not to forget, him. Hahaha..:P

23. Current mood:
Tired, a bit upset but I'm just okay~~

24. What are you thinking?:
Thinking of him~ and thinking of why did Daus torture me by tagging me to answer this questions!!! xD

25. Best childhood memory:
Being free, without any adult responsibilities and obligations...lalalalala~

26. 3 of your biggest fears:
Rejection, death and loneliness.

28. 3 of the things you hate:
Lizards. Drugs. the biatch. LOL..

29. Do you blog?:
Nda!!! Hahaha...stooopid2~ I do blog bah..for my emo rants and blabberings~LOL..

30. Tag 5 people:
Must i? Sapa nah? I just don't know..wawawa..tag you back, you you who tagged me! :P Antamz2..

Phewww....that was tiring. Hahaha...

Today yet again..yellow lite!!

Had a briefing this morning in college. Double diploma's approval to go to KL is still in the 'yellow light' area. I got demotivated but the tutors said, we will eventually go to KL but maybe a few days' late or anytime sooner!! Pray that we will go!! I need to pack my things~

Had a Doa Selamat session with the tutors and the colleagues who will be going to KL this Saturday. A little tea break session and off I went to talk with Leena regarding Nurul. While conversing merrily, Daus came and joined us. Huhu. Had a great chit chat about our lives (mostly Daus plg) and then, it stretched to a long conversation with the other peepz. Thanks Daus for walking back to the hostel with me. Hoho. Sambil bergusip. Tawakal ja Daus, hopefully it will run smoothly. Get some strong backups, yeah?

Anyway, had a thought..Degree in Paediatric Nursing with Post Graduate to Operating Theatre Nursing? Wow...will I ever reach that? I wanted it but I have no self motivation to study for now. My mind is constantly thinking of work, the income it will brings to my family and myself. Hohoho. Mom previously offered me to continue my studies in undertaking the degree course but I am determined not to go yet. I will, for the next three years' of working experience~ Hahaha..just not now. To Daus, good luck for your Public Health degree course..community love~Haha.

Another thought struck me..how is Nurul? Nada berita eyh. I'm worried but I don't want to upset her. I hope everything's fine...Ya Allah, tabahkan lah hati Nurul dalam menghadapi dugaan hidup yang Kau berikan ini...


And so, this is my blog post for today~ I'm gonna go back to Tutong, back to home sweet home~~ Tomorrow, will be Miri!! Hahaha...asikkk~ Babah terima gaji today udah~:D Will cambitch there with my sister..wawawa...Expect some pictures when I get back!!

Lurbe,

Kisho [229]

"Miri, here I come...one of Brunei's cambitches is coming fer ya~"

Alhamdulillah for the things in life...:D

Went out today. Alone. My 'no mood' mode was making me 'mental'.

Sal aku lapar. Berabishly. Texted my cinta Shidah, wanted to antar the kad jemputan kawin from El. Tunggu punya tunggu,she's not home. Aahh...buring! My hunger literally disappeared sekajap and so, wanted to chill myself out...I went to....the pantai~ Alone, macam c palui. Hahaha. Which pantai? Malas ku bagitau. Biar jadi rahsia~ Hehehe...Anywhere, nda sampai 5 minutes, I left the pantai..sal aku takut. LOL..malam kali ahh ke pantai atu!! Pisan...ada plg urang tapi well, pandai jua ku takut. Kekeke...at least, I smelled the ocean~ Tenang sikit~ :D

Off to Batu Besurat. Laju ku dribe. Kan mati. Ujan tah lagi. Makan Ayamku. Atu tah yang paling murah and affordable for me at this moment. Kapih bui. Ate my Ayamku Goreng while looking at the world around me. Macam-macam ada. Kan ambil gambar of myself, malu jua...hawar nyanta sal banyak urang sana sini...Wawawa. Karang nya urang, luan jua vain atu sampai siuk sendiri bergambar~ HAHAHAH..so nada pix tah ni..buring~:S

As I 'ratah' my piece of fried chicken, I saw a couple nearby. Looking lovey dovey and well, it made me feel 'jealous' and lonely. Omg~ At that moment, I felt I was the most loneliest people on earth! Selalu nya ada Potty or others to be with me. Ani, nada! Surang-surang ku eh..wawawa. And my mind reeled back to him, yesh, him. I wish we could spend the time together right there. Together, in love. Deep in love. Majal. Huhuh. Then I thought of my friends. Shucks, without you peepz, I think I might lose my mind. How can I live without you??!! Kamu tah sumber ilmu jiwa inspirasi motivasi asi2 ku~~ :P Haha. A sudden gratefulness began to emerge inside me and I am thankful to Allah for giving me friends and gave me the chance to love. Alhamdulillah~

As I took another bite on my yummy fried chicken thigh, I looked at my right side. Children. A little girl looked back at me with a wide smile and I found myself smiling back. Then I saw the mother and the girl's siblings. Happiness, I found myself thought. A happy family. Again, I felt grateful for having my family in my life. Alhamdulillah. Although they sometimes sucks a lot. Haha. At the same time, my mind just returned to thoughts of him. How wonderful it would be to start a family with him, with our own kids. He would be a great father. He loves kids. Haha. Me, on the other hand, will be a paediatric nurse...so, kids will be the main client in my career. Darn, as I realised that I was thinking of him, I went and transferred some of my 3G credit to him. Haha. Biar taya marah~ I don't care~

While sipping my Pepsi, I saw a transvestite...well, 'pundan'. He, er, she *coz he got boobs...* was 'main mata' with the cleaner in Ayamku. Hahaa. I laughed silently as the cleaner 'tekirik' and then just shook his head with disbelief. That was entertaining for me and I stifled a laugh when the 'pundan' kinda searched for the cleaner after that. Hahaha. Not long after that, I observed a tomboy with her dalenk. They were chatting away happily as they ate. The tomboy was 'rugged'. The dalenk was pretty. Huhuhu. I smiled to myself again. Ah, life...Love knows no boundaries. I wonder how much our society has changed...I wonder why we are what we are. What made us who we are? Mysteries of life...

Halfway finishing my Pepsi, I received his misscall. Aha. Smiled broadly I did. But I ignored it, continuing my observation to the environment around me. Saw foreigners queuing up to pay their groceries at the cashier, saw some of the foreigners hang out in front of Chong Hock while watching what's playing on the TV at the shop. I wonder what they have gone throught for today...I wonder and wonder, how does it feel to live their lives? Huhu..Banyak pikir~ Then went online, chatted with Emma for awhile. Then off, sal Emma mau tdo..wawawa.

Finished my Pepsi and off I went to the CD's shops. Browsing through for the latest movies in store. Cuci mata menengok what's playing on the TV *terasa ku plg mcm urg foreigners tadi* Haha. Alone. Felt that loneliness again. Adui..usually, he was with me when we wanted to browse for new movies, I enjoyed spending times with him as we talked about that and this movies on the spot.Critics we are~..Hahaha. Him again. Bah adang eyh. LOL...Didn't buy anything and hurriedly I went to my car, driving back to my hostel.

Arrived safely. And here I am. Tired and full. LOL..Syukur alhamdulillah, I'm safe and sound~ Then I received his other misscall. Haha. Atu banar~ I forgot about balas misscall nya yang first ah.LOL..then pasal kesian, I misscalled him back. Aaah...and I got a bit of my mood back~and soooo that's the end of my story~LOL

Moral of the story, try to be observant as you sat alone somewhere in public..there should be something that will put that question mark in your head. Haha. And of course, you will learn something sedikit sebanyak...I did. Never thought it can be an eye opener. Huhuh...Well, I'm glad I went alone tonight for a short trip to see the 'world' in a glimpse..LOL...

Lurbe,

Kisho [229]

"Aku rajin update today..wawawa...and Alhamdulillah kepada Allah di atas segala apa yg ku miliki.."

September oh September~

Got this masa browsing through www.gua.com.my pat forum nya...Huhu..you should check the website..wawawa~


SEPTEMBER

* Sangat bersopan santun & bertolak ansur.
"Sadang jua sopan santun ku..ahakz, bertolak ansur? depending certain situations ja"

* Sangat cermat, teliti & teratur.
"Well, at times...huhu, not really organised eyh...teliti? well, a bit~"

* Suka menegur kesilapan orang lain & mengkritik.
"Awo, this is true..wawawa. Tapi teruk la time dulu than now. Now less criticism depending on the situation..wawawa~Tapi ada time nya, datang taya balik penyakit ani.."

* Pendiam tapi pandai bercakap.
"Pendiam when orang lain pendiam jua..wawa..pemalu when orang lain pemalu.LOL..and Of course lah aku pandai bercakap..kekeke..tapi nda pandai sweet talk eyh..:P"

* Sikap sangat cool, sangat baik & mudah simpati.
"Cool? Nda jua..sangat baik? ahakz..antah lah ahh, sendiri mau tau la..mudah simpati?erm..sadang lah...huhuhuhu.."

* Sangat perihatin & terperinci, amanah, setia & jujur.
"Perihatin, awo if I know you well...wawawa..terperinci, nda eh. Amanah?em..at times sja..LOL. Setia? Yesh, really superly setia..Jujur? Bolehlah...liat situations.."

* Kerja yang dilakukan sangat sempurna.
"Nda jua lah..wawawa..masani nda g berapa organized...pisan!"

* Sangat sensitif yang tidak diketahui.
"Awo, i admit aku sensitif...luar ok, tp dlm hati, u don't know eh..wawawa..."

* orang yang banyak berfikir.
"Yup, aku banyak fikir..I think too much for my own good...pisan~"

* Daya pentaakulan yang baik.
"Bwuh..apa g ni?Hahaha...maybe jua~"

* Otak bijak & mudah belajar.
"Not bijak sangat..nda jua mudah belajar..wawawa..payah2an nyanta~"

* Suka mencari maklumat.
"Yesh, general info..wawaa..yang unik2 berabish..atu tah yang ku suka baca and cari.."

* Kawal diri dari terlalu mengkritik.
"Awo, masani pandai kawal diri udah..hehe..sabar~"

* Pandai mendorong diri sendiri.
"Hahaha..kadang2 saja...motivate diri sendiri..:P"

* Mudah memahami orang lain kerana banyak menyimpan rahsia.
"Nda jua..I find it difficult to paham urang nowadays...and well, I do simpan byk rahsia..:P"

* Suka sukan, hiburan & melancong.
"Kinda..wawawa..hiburan, for sure!! melancong, oh yesh I love it~~"

* Kurang menunjukkan perasaannya.
"Awo, true enough.. ku nda suka show what I really feel..takut menyusahkan urang.."

* Terluka hatinya sangat lama disimpan.
"Hahaha..like what, now?? Terluka hati ku ani...sapa sudi merawat? :P"

* Terlalu memilih pasangan.
"Hohoho..awo..I am choosy. Damn right, tapi nda teruk macam dulu la..masani, what I'm searching for is someone with a good sense of humor...huhuhu."

* Sukakan benda yang luas.
"Hahaha...well, nda jua lah..."

* Bersistematik
"Hell no~~ Nda pun..wawawa..udah tah nda organized, how can I be systematic? :P"


Bah atu saja daulu..wawawa..sekali nya rajin ku mengupdate ani...

Interbiu n Rafidah~ :P

Kinda demotivated right now..seems like our double diploma clinical attachment to KL is pending. OMG~ Will I not spend my one month there?? Hahaha..Insya-Allah saja. Anyway, the inservices are going this Saturday. Geez...how about us? Mudahan tah jadi jalan..I need my sought after vacation plus experience wise trip~ Lalalala...and lots of cam bitching session with the cam bitches~ :D

My hands are rough. *horrors* Bakas cleaning up my hostel's shower room and toilet. Clorox. Bau Clorox tangan ku ani. LOL. So rough I felt my hands have aged faster than my real age. Hahaha. Nantitah bagi lotion..but eep! Mana lotion? Bwuh...it must be somewhere...emmm...

Me with da bottle of Clorox..eh? I mean, Cocorex..wawawa..Bleach!!

Skipping that up, I had an interview this morning with the coordinator. Haha. I was nervous and the questions were, intimidating enough for me. I had to rack my brains in finding the suitable answers. Terasa macam pelakon kana interbiu. Hohoho. One of the things that the tutor asked was,

"How is your interest in Paediatric Nursing? Has it grown in you during your one year course?"

Ans : A bit. It used to be 40% but now, it's 70%. Maybe when I work in a paediatric setting in the future, I will gain more interest. Insya-Allah. *mutters under breath* Hopefully!

Hahaha. Okay. Is that a true answer? Awo, banar. Only 70% of interest in Paediatric nursing. Not bad kan? But I need to up sikit eyh. I was , kinda, forced but then again, it's my choice. Hopefully I'll be more interested in the years to come~ Insya-Allah.

Then the tutor suggested me a career that may suit me in the future in the paediatric setting. Apa nah? The Paediatric OT Nurse.Nasib bukan Paediatric Emergency Nurse. I don't like emergencies~~~ Wawawa..anyway, rugged bunyinya. I was like, uh, ada kan course miatu? The tutor only smiled and said, awo and it would be perfect for me. And there should be one someday in Brunei, a.k.a Me? LOL... I then interestedly asked how can I get into such career. Terpaksa ambil degree in Paediatric Nursing and then take postgraduate degree in OT. LOL. Atu ya~~Wah...then she asked what other paediatric nursing area would I like to specialized? I, unthoughtfully answered, Paediatric Oncology Nursing. Slam! F*ck, did I say that? No,no, not that! I no like. The tutor just looked at me, and I was smiling, covering the debate inside my mind. I would love to be a Paediatric Oncology Nursing but NOT in Brunei. That should've been my answer but I just shut my mouth. OMG!

Soon after, she asked me all sorts of questions. I was, kinda struggling to confidently say, "Yup, I can do that!"..HAHAHAHA. Stupid me. I was afraid and nervous. Anyway, by the end of the 30 minutes interview session, she asked me who will I nominate for the best clinical student, academic student and leadership. Hohoho...I had no difficulties in nominating except the best academic student in my course. Haha. Napa nah? Because..I wasssss, as you can say, one of the best student in the course. LOL. And the tutor suggested to me if I would nominate myself..Hhaha. No way. I am not confident with me being the best academic student in paediatric course. As I said to my tutor,

"I'm not confident nominating myself as a best academic student because I know myself well, I do well but not well enough..I should nominate someone who I think challenge me in some way, someone who is suitable and participate in everything in the course..and that would be...TUttt~ But for the others, they might choose me, however, it takes a lot to be a best academic student, I'm just not it.."

Fuh..wawawa..mengada ah bunyinya? But it's true. I hope they don't nominate me as the best student in paediatric~ no thank you..I'm not qualified to take that honour~ But I'm just happy if you think *think saja, not really nominate* I should be nominated. LOL...Vote for Kisho~:P

And aww...I realised that my blog lacked pictures. Hhuhu. I just don't know what I should upload in my blog. No new pictures I've taken. No super duper events. Btw thanks to Potty and Nurul for treating me out yesterday~ Terima kasih..Saya sayang kamu~ HAHAHA...Nantitah membalas budi~ :D

And also, lau jadi ke KL ani..and if I have the money, I will and I will cut my hair, well, trim sikit la and highlight it!!! Blue~ Blue~~~ Hahahaha...nda plg brapa nampak tuh da highlite but at least, I got blue highlite~~ Lau kaler lain, ketara taya..ndamo eyh~ No like..and oh, hehehe, someone complimented me saying I looked like Rafidah from 3R. Wawawa...ya kan? Nda jua~ But I am a fan of Rafidah..huhu, ever since I watched 3R with my sister..wawawa. Peminat nyanta~ :D Like her style and her haircut~ whoo-hoo!! Maybe pasal my haircut atu kali kana ucap I looked like her, besides, we wear spectacles..wawaa...~ Oh well, it's an honour though~ Hahahaha...If I WAS a guy, I might be attracted to ladies like her~ Huhuh..*winx* Btw, jangan tease me wah that I looked like Rafidah~I am NOT!! Wawawawa..Belabih kamu ani~ :D

So not like Rafidah..wawaa..eh, imagine me with my blue highlights? wow..

Da pretty babe~ Wawawa...I'm just a FAN! a FAN, goddamnnit~

And so..toodles~ Hahahah..I wanna get some shut-eye~ Lapar ey....

Lurbe,

Kisho [229]

"Bilatah kan ke KL ani???"

Addicted~ :D

I love Faizal Tahir's songs. Hahaha. Best~

Eh, apa aku merepek ni?!! Wawawawa~ Lately, his songs are playing through my mind constantly. Addicted. And even in the midst of this morning and with the risk that I'll be late for college, doesn't stop me from blogging here and pratically say,

"I LOVE Faizal Tahir's songs!!!"

Enough said, I think I'm undergoing phases of mentalism. Lalalala, Faizal Tahir~~ lurbeeeee your songs~ Huhuhuhu. *addicted*

End. *crazy laughter!!*

Wicked,

Kisho [229]

"Kau bagaikan udara yang membantu aku untuk terus hidup di atas dunia~ tanpamu ku lemah, pasti ku takkan berdaya~ kerna kau mahakarya cinta~"

Ponders..-__-"

Pondering mode.

I was thinking...if it's worth it to be in love and get hurt...

I'm doing it..so is it worth it? I asked that to myself...several times at certain points of my life..

To wait obediently while he doesn't care the sacrifices you made?

To get hurt as he talks about another he likes and be so happy about it without being oblivious to the pain in your eyes?

To avoid your presence as you approach him with love in your eyes?

To miss him when he doesn't even miss you?

To think of him even though you know you'll never cross into his mind as much as you do?

Painful. When you experienced such events...Hurts so bad. I tried to hide it inside..but it still hurts badly. Like an old wound, cut open again but this time, much deeper and deeper. I'm lost in my life. Lost in finding love. Fool in love, I might say.

I bore you all with words, the usual words of pain I felt..but do you even understand how it feels? Maybe you don't...Maybe you do...

Lirik-lirik lagu duet current faves saya~~

Ajai & Krisdayanti - Perlu Kamu

Ajai:
Saat ini
Ku cerita
Isi hati segala rahsia
Aku rindu
Aku perlu
Hati kamu terukir namaku

Kris Dayanti:Aku tahu
Aku rindu
Aku perlu mengenali kamu
Biar masa bercerita
Kau takkan hilang aku sayang

Chorus :
Ajai:Ku sadari saat manis ni kan pergi
Biar aku ngerti
Kerna aku mahu kamu
Kris Dayanti:Ku ulangi kau yakini hati ini
Kerna aku cinta kamu
Hari hari aku
Kan menjadi hari kamu
Kerna syarat hidup
Disayangi…

Both:Biar nyata
Aku setia
Janji cinta tentunya berbeda
Maafkan lah salah kita
Biar benci
Ku tetap di sisi

Chorus :
Ajai:Ku sadari saat manis ni kan pergi,
Biar aku ngerti,
Kerna aku mahu kamu

Kris Dayanti:Ku ulangi kau yakini hati ini
Kerna aku cinta kamu
Hari hari aku
Kan menjadi hari kamu
Kerna syarat hidup….

Ajai:Ku sadari saat manis ni kan pergi
Biar aku ngerti
Kerna aku mahu kamu
Kris Dayanti:Ku ulangi kau yakini hati ini
Kerna aku cinta kamu
Hari hari aku
Kan menjadi hari kamu
Kerna syarat hidup
Disayangi…
Aku perlu
Aku rindu

Masih Saling Mencinta - Cinderella OST

aku manusia yang lemah
maafkanlah bila ku tak bisa
menjaga semua yang telah
kita bina bersama

aku juga manusia biasa
yang tak luput dengan kekurangan
tapi ku tak ingin diduakan
apalagi dilupakan

* tapi apalah dayaku
semua telah terjadi
namun kuingin kau tahu
aku masih cinta

reff:bila kau memang cinta padaku
janganlah kau pergi dari hidupku
bila kita memang saling mencinta
mengapa kita harus berpisah
bila cinta ada di hati kita
dan percayalah kita kan bersama

repeat *, reff

Tukar layout!! :d

Changed my blog layout and chose one of the pre-made layouts from Blogger templates. Dark layout as always. Wawawawa.

Why changed it? I got bored with the previous blog layout. Hehehe..Wanted to find a right blog skin that's suitable to my personality but well, none interests me. :D

Anyway, I'll change the layout next time...to a more cheerful layout. IF i can find the right layout for myself...

Lurbe,
Kisho [229]

Confusing life...confusing me~

I AM FU*KING CONFUSED!!!

Hahaha...well, what's up with that eyh? Antah. I'm just in an emotional rollercoaster right now. Trying to find myself. Trying to rid of all things that I want to get away from. Hahaha. Tapi makin lari, makin payah ja~~ Oh God!! Helep...I am soo weak~~

First, it would be about me. Yeah, me. I am trying to find myself in the midst of this awkward life. I am trying to find the real me!!! Oh God..helep me Pot!!! Hahaha..I think I'm drawn to the darker side when I don't want it..wawawa..Abang Min eyh, jangan wah~LOL...I nda rela~kekeke..Don't seduce me~

Secondly, it's him. Yeah, HIM! OMG~~ Like whatEVER!!! Damn him..wawawa. I was not thinking of him, as in not missing him much. But THEN!!! This morning...the peeps talked about HIM and I was unconciously looking at his friendster...and F*cK! All that warm, tingling feelings just BURST inside me, flooding me, drowning ME!!...OMG!!! I MISS HIM!! Help!! S.O.S!! Hahahaha...

Both of these are making suffocating me now. I feel like I can just die anytime soon~ Die!! OMG...help me..

Btw, sorry for my emotional blog entry...I just need a place to vent my confusion and frustration..:'(

Confused,

Kisho [229]

"Forgive my sins, forgive my weakness...I'm just human.."

Eep! Love???Lurbe??

Here's a video with the song "How Can I not Love You" yang ku dapat dari Multiply tym siok2 membrowsing..huhuh..antah ah, sesaja ja ku mempost sini sal I like it...kinda made me think of every words I read in the video...

And maybe..yesh, I am really outta my mind for loving him with the thought of knowing he won't love me...yet I don't care and I get hurt..and I love him now without knowing the reason why do I fucking love him...Hoho, strange ain't it?

Can i love another? My heart tells me with aching pain "NO!"
Can i let go? My heart tells me "Don't ever, ever let go!"
What else can i do? "Just Love and hurt more..." LOL...miatu la~ :P

Anyway, will update the blog next time on the events for the past two days..wawawa..i am lazyeh and I need to pack things to go home to TutOng. Tata~

Lurbe,
Kisho [229]

"Mencintaimu, tak mengenal jemu, tak mengenal puitis, hanya ketulusan hatiku.."

100th years Brunei Health Conference

Yaw...I am basically lazy, so I'll just post up a quickie~

Today went to the ICC (International Convention Centre) to attend the 100th Year of Health in Brunei. Didn't get to attend the morning session due to restricted seats (gah!), and I just watched it on TV before attending the afternoon sessions. Potty was acting 'cute' on air..wawawa. I liked it when you sang the choir's song~ Cheerful as always, my friend. Hehe. ANyway, it was kinda compulsory for me to come although my inner demon was screaming inside, shouting negative thoughts so I won't attend it. Oh well, the angelic me just follows my instincts. Went there with Nurul and Leena. A bit fucked up because they were late and were well, forgotten about me joining them. But I quickly dissipated my anger by calming myself with some happy thoughts. It works!

Leena was choosy in deciding where to park, Nurul got annoyed with that and I was HAPPY because I saw his car. He came!! But without telling me..I felt angry with that as I told him before to tell me if he's coming or not. I was beaming with anxiety and happiness, with driven motivation to see him. Immediately texted him up which he, well, delayed quite a while in replying. Maybe he's avoiding me? Sigh. Oh well...It makes sense, I sounded so desperate to meet him. Rindu berabishly.

Registered and entered the plenary hall. Three sessions commenced and I was not concentrating. Mostly I thought of him, wondering where he was and why he's sooooooooo late in replying my text messages. Got online on the phone, chatted with Potty and Amal. Nurul brought bad news : they wanted to leave the place immediately in the middle of the sessions. I was frustrated, irritated with it...Told Nurul to leave me there and I'll just catch up with Amal. High hopes on meeting him seemed like a distant wish...

Finished the three sessions and I went to approach Amal. Went to the Health Expo, wishing I met up with him. Found him. Happy. Then annoyed. He was being 'I-don't-want-to-see-you-now', trying to run away from me. I got really fucked up and frustrated. I wanted to hug him that instant because words cannot escape from my lips. Cannot describe how HAPPY I was having him in front of me...Then he just left with the guy friends. Eughhh! So I continued walking around with Amal and Edah, to check things up in the Expo. Still, my mind couldn't concentrate..

Back to the Plenary Hall, alone. Amal and Edah went home early. I was left, with no one to go home with. Got plan. Him. Texted him up to hitch a ride back to my hostel. He agreed, thankfully. After the last session ended, I waited for him and we hitched a ride on Ida's car who brought his car keys which he left in a friend's car. Got into his car and on the way, he was being himself again..We joked and well, I laughed as he spoke in English. Improving I might say. Huhu. Went to the Mall, took $20..decided to eat at KFC in Q-lap. Off we went with him getting angry about me treating him to eat there.

Ate in KFC, talked about things. I was glad. Super duper glad with him in front of me. I couldn't take my eyes off him. But at certain times, I was pissed at him as he talked about things I really don't wanna hear. I can see that glint of enjoyment as he pissed me off. I just grew silent but still I tried to be positive. Hohoho. Mental banar~ Then we went for DVD window shopping and then off to Mum's Bakery, where I bought some breads and puffs for his family. Huhu. He was again angry for my decision to buy things for his family and I just act ignorant. I am being overly generous and a bit tad 'crazy' but well, I don't care~ I am doing it not to gain his heart, I just wanted to buy some things for his family because I've known them. Well, he's the one at fault for introducing me to them..Hehe...

Back to the hostel, we chatted a bit. I wanted to spend a much longer time with him but considering him having to work tomorrow morning, rushed me with my words. Left him with some advices, me being worried of him having occasional coughs and being sleepy. Reminded him of misscalling me once he got back home (which nada..) and be safe on the road. Then I just walked away, not being able to say..I miss him and I'm glad to meet him today. Hohoo. Cowardice has struck me~ :P

Okay, that's all. Tomorrow I have to go the ICC again to have more talk sessions to attend. I am tired and demotivated. And he's not going to be there. Huhuhu. But I am thankful to Allah for giving me the chance to meet him today. Alhamdulillah...:D

And so, farewell for now...I need to sleep.

Wuvvy duvvy,

Kisho [229]

"Thankful for today's meeting with him...I think I've fallen in love again and again with the same person..."

Sesaja..hehe

More Graphics at pYzam.com

Huhuhu..aku jiwang masani. Jiwang mode...Sigh. Damn, I love him..wawawa...pebaik ku kana hurt kan mati and it's just not fair for me..huhu, well, nda ku sampai hati to balas apa yang ya buat aku rasa..I'm just so in love...i don't care anymore~ Just slap me back to earth anyone?

Tika - Tria (Waris Jari Hantu OST)

Tika aku sendirian

Tika rindu menyapaku

Tika gelisah menyisir diriku

Kau nafas yang ku hela cinta

Kau jiwa dan inspirasi ku kasih

Demi Tuhan kau ku cintai ooo…

Aku rindu sentuhan mu

Aku perlu bicara mu

Aku dahagakan belaian kasih mu

Andai engkau tahu isi hati

Peritnya cinta yang suci

Oh kasih ku aku cinta kamu ooo…

Ooo … lafaz kama mu terindah kata

Kau ilham segala asmara dewa

Hati luka yang ku relai

Aku rindu sentuhan mu

Aku perlu bicara mu

Aku dahagakan belaian kasih mu

Andai engkau tahu isi hati

Peritnya cinta yang suci

Oh kasih ku aku cinta kamu ooo…

Huuuuuuuuuu……….

To cheer up someone's day..

Funny Pics at pYzam.com

Haha..I love this~ It never fails to make me laugh..huhuhu...cute bah the kitty~ :D

Our night of a Bruneian's fun...

Hey peepz!

Last nite was a great, enjoyable night. Really. Especially on the part of Daus treating us outfor an ambuyat dinner at Aminah Arif and when he treated us for a single scoop of gelato at Gelateria Florentino. Thanks Daus, really appreciated it so much~ Haha..we had major fun and well, sadly due to time constraints, our happy fun moments were cut short. Anyway, let me summarized the events last nite. :D

At 7pm, me and Nuwul went to pick Potty up from her home and then we went back to the hostel, to wait for Daus. After a 5 minutes of waiting, Daus came in his car, telling us that he just came back from taking his passport's photograph. While I was driving, Daus and Potty were talking happily at the back, and my mind just whirled at the thoughts of him. Hohoho. Him. Yet again. Anyway, Potty went to pick her choir dress up in Q-lap and we were waiting in the car for her. Daus was basically talking and broke a news about him. I felt 'grigitan'. No, not at Daus but at him. Hahaha. Daus told me about him working in the renal unit in KB. Oh well, that's where he is eh?...Huhu. Then with Potty, we went to Aminah Arif to have our ambuyat dinner.

There, Daus talks happily about his life and some gossips. I suggested us to go to Yayasan to get some DDR action and some karaoke session.Haha. We had our seconds as Daus was pratically, what he said "mengintu-ngintu"...hahaha, well, it should've been "mengidam-ngidam". Haha. I think we have the same problem Daus, I am not good with my Bruneian language. Huhuh. After our ambuyat dinner in Aminah Arif, we went to Q-lap Mall to have our gelatos. Mine was Pistachhio, Daus had his Cacaopat, Potty had her pink grapefruit sorbet and Nurul had her Mexican Vanilla. Took some snaps of them with my handphone. Huhu. Tapi nda banyak. Then off we went to Yayasan to have our 'fun' session.

At Yayasan, we went straight to the Arcade there. Potty and Daus played the DDR. I was gawking at them as they played splendidly. Siuk lah. I don't want to play it because I know my DDR's skill ain't brushed up yet. Hahaha, I would only make a fool of myself. Then we went to have basketball games, whatever it's called. Huhu. Funnily, I slipped a ball from my hand and the ball just rolled to the floor. Wawawa. Memalukan eyh. After that, we went to have our karaoke session. 5 songs : Cinta by Misha Omar & Jaclyn, Cintai Mencintai kita by Ajai & Nurul, The day you went away by M2M, Mencari Bintang by Peterpan and Gurauan Berkasih by Nana & Achik. Potty and me was singing without a care for anyone while Daus was a bit shy? Haha. Nurul was shy though and the funny part was when Daus kinda begged Nurul to sing a song. LOL..Good move~

We were singing up to the last song when well, the arcade wanted to close! Panicked but still sane, we managed to sing the last song with Potty getting a bit 'ayu' da voice?? Napa taya Pot? Hehee..Out we went from the K-box where Daus wanted to pose a little in one of the K-Box but then, POOF! The lights went out and I was laughing hard because Daus and Nurul went a lil panicked at the situation. After that, we went back homes...happily but satisfied~ Yeay...

Again, I would like to say "Thank You" very much to Daus. Hehehe. Next time tah my turn to treat you for a night of fun..Hohoho..:D

Til then, have a look at the pictures I have..huhu.nantitah I grab some pictures from you, Daus.

Them, looking happily with their gelatos in hand~ But where am I??

My Pistachhio...huhu, it tasted like pistachio...well, apakanz! :P I don't really like it though..
Potty and Daus, getting ready for DDR session...
DDR in action tapi blur la da pix...huhuh...

In addition, I had a coversation with him on the phone last nite. Owh, heavens~ Haha, nah kedapatan taya dengan sapa I talked on the phone last nite leh c Potty. Hahaha. We talked a lot, about 2 hours and my kredit tuhus. LOL. He was as always, talking about his work and life...Owh, I miss him~~ Anyway, I then, well, asked him if he's going to come to the airport on the day I leave Brunei. He said he will come if he's not working or if he's on night shift. Omg, I wanted so much for him to come and yeah, I wanted to cry. Rasa barat ati kan ke KL ani. LOL. Calie ah? Never have I ever felt such a way before leaving Brunei...damn. Wanted to hug him. Hahahaha. Ya Tuhan ku, mudahan he will come to the airport on that day. Let it come true...Amin~

Plus, I wanted to review on a movie I've seen and well, managed to make me cry. "Waris Jari Hantu" was an excellent movie. Not a ghost story, but more to a love story. Love that does exist in life. I was being emotional for most parts of the movie due to the relation to my love life, some conversations were just too exact like what I heard in my real life. Hahah. I mean the heroin was so deeply in love with the hero but the hero just can't be with her and loves her just as friends. Sodih tuhhh..I felt I understand how it feels to love someone so deeply..*sniff* And yeah, we can see how people's discrimination to someone can lead to negative effect on that discriminated person. Life is totally cruel. People can't accept another who is what they considered 'not normal'...Shucks! And yeah, love the soundtracks~ I love 'Kasih Tercipta' by Faizal Tahir and 'Tika' by Tria, but I loved the 'Tika' of Maya Karin and Rusdi Ramli's version. Lawaaaaa...kinda make me sad too...I give this one a 4 out of 5, even though I don't really understand the ending. Hahaha...

Okay, that's all..Tata. Toodles~

Lurbe,

Kisho [229]

SWooosh~ KL here we come~

Yeay! Daus is gonna treat us to Ambuyat's dinner tonite!!! Luv ya Daus (atu only when you treats us to fun and food..wawawa)...Nanti I belanja you in return~ :D

Anyway, it won't be long til my clinical attachment to KL!! Yeszaaa!! Looking forward to it and yeah, it'll be for a whole month~ Asikkk...Grand Sale g nih!! Hahaha..Shop til u drop bankrupt..wawawa...

I have to pack my things and clear up the hostel's room before leaving Brunei..Huhu. Malas nya.

I mish him tho he doesn't. Owh heck, maybe I won't get to meet him before I leave Brunei...Huhu.Macam batah berabis jua ku kan leave Brunei ani bunyinya~ Hahahaha...Tapi really wish I can meet him before I leave...Really, really do...:(


Lurbe,
Kisho [229]

Pain again..

Pain. That feeling yet again.

I told myself not to cry anymore, to take things as positively as I could..to take things as it comes...but...

With happiness, there's always that sadness that follows...I do not want to hope. Do not want to wish for something so farfetched...Do not admit to the feelings I am trying to bury away. I want to deny everything inside me. But...

I guess, I am a fool. Enough said...

Tears. Running down my cheeks. And a bitter feeling inside. Tearing the walls of invincibility that I have put up. Bruised heart, yet again. Sensitive me...Foolish me...That feminine part of me cries as deep as the river that runs endlessly...That part of me cries for comfort and hope..That part of me wishes for someone to help me..Yet that masculine part of me, tried hard to deny everything, burying it away...building up my ego, trying to act strong before everyone's eyes...trying to patch up that gushing wound inside with a steel ego and hypocrisy...I lied to everyone on how I am feeling with that smile of innocence...

Lurbe,

Kisho [229]

"No matter how much you crushed me, I still smile for you with this pieces of love you've broken..."

Delayed pix..

These are the pics of our College's Hari Raya Celebration in Rizqun..I didn't manage to take lots of picx because, well, I am without my digi cam, sadly~ wawawawa...Enjoy~

Them, waiting for the event to start..berbincang apa yaa dang?

Me and Amal, baru warm-up...
..and it's getting warming up with our 'kontrol' poses...
..and finally, it's like this? We were half bored to death awaiting for the event to start..wawaa!
This is my plate and that is how much I ate before the waiter took it away before i had my second...cian~:S

Them, cheering and clapping ourselves to the point of no humiliation when the event started! LOL..enjoyable peepz, very very much~ :D

Rushed~

I am basically being hyper after the exams. And emotional. And a bit sressed out.

Exams finished and I am a bit glad about it. But yet, there is something inside me that feels a bit disappointed. Haha. Why? Because I didn't think I did the best that I could for myself. Hohoho. Horrible~ I just hoped that I'll pass the papers..:)

Looking forward to KL's attachment!!! Yipee...ahakz, being a cam bitch sure makes it all something to look forward to~ Hehehe..I am gonna cam whore for that whole 1 month! Yeszaaa...but oh,I am feeling irked sal maybe I'll be the presenter for my group masa that KL's attachment's presentation ah..OH NOOOO!! I no, no, like..Haha..My fear of public speaking is still there...I stuttter, I stammer...I cannot keep my own cool..Duh!

Had fun last nite during the Hari Raya Celebration. Our table went wild with lots of shrieking and whistling and well, basically, screams~ HAHAHA...I didn't think I ever did it. Well, I just went crazy, wacky inside~ :P Hyper I could say...Hilarious act by some of the teachers and students too~ Hehehe...I love last night and well, I hate it too. Because it was gently reminding me of my times with him at such function...seeing my other colleagues with their loved ones, oh damn, made me thought of him and my heart just aches to see him beside me...Oh GoD, i MISS him badly! It's crushing me inside!!!!

And so...I'll end it here..I don't wanna think so much...but I miss him!!! AAAAAAaaahh...

Misssing himmmmm~

Kisho [229]

Bullchitz...:P

Hungry. Stressed. Caged in. Fucked up.

Hahaha..I am outta my mind.

I hate him. LOL. But I love him. Don't give me hope but yet it has no meaning to you. I hate this. I am hungry. LOL.Out ceta ku ani. Mental. Hahaha. Kisho is undergoing mentalism process.

Mama Bear loves Papa Pandan shooooo much!!!! Heck, I am really outta my mind. Ditto!!

Miduh-yo...araso?!! :D

Outta her mind,

Kisho [229]

Asik2 tak kisah...selahau~

I am a few hours away from my Paper 1 exam. Haha. Yet I still act tak kisah~OMG...

I can't be forced to study. I can't be forced to read whatever it is I need to read. I read when I want to read. The way I study is, fun first then head cramming time! Haha..which is a bad way of studying.

What shall I answer for my Paper 1?I chose two of my top choices~

Legal, Moral and Ethical Issues?
or
Family Centered Care?

Oooh...kinda a difficult choice. Haha. I read a bit about legal and ethical issues but I'm thinking of whether to answer it or not. Basically I need to understand the four basic principles of ethics and remember the professional code of conduct for nurses. LOL. Payah. The tutor hinted that it is one TOUGH question but seeing that ethically there is no right and wrong answer makes me feeling tempted to choose this one.And I like arguments. I like to be in control of my answer.LOL. But I need to see the scenario first. Risky business...huhu, but one with a challenge. Hope I won't argue a little off the path if I choose this one~ :P

Family Centered Care~ Aaah...we say we have this practice in our healthcare system. But oh well, we don't. We don't practice what we preach~ Family centered care is a whole kind of thing from what we practiced here. We do not have the facilities to accomodate family centered care, for example, we do not have a place to accomodate parents who comes from a far place...We just let them stay there and we do not think about what the parents' concerns of. Do we? I don't think so, unless if you get so curious and it's just so obvious the parent is having some concerns. We sometimes do not practise what we called, providing the enabling and empowering concept to the family. Basically we just say that having family taking care of the sick patient and be there to support the sick patient is family centered care, but that is not the whole meaning of family centered care~ So how do we implement such concept in our healthcare settings? Haha...confusing eh? Bah enough eh, paning kamu...Wawawa. I love Family centered care~ NOT!!

Paper 2 will be much difficult for me..wawawa.Clinical Practice and it's mostly about emergency care~ I am sooooooooo doomed...Lalala~ I'll just choose Non-Accidental Injury~ what do I have to assess if I were to suspect a child to experience that? From triage tooooooo the ward or discharge. Haha. Pisan ni. I need to memorize the protocols of suspected Non-Accidental Injury~ Lala...like what our tutor said, better to suspect early because if we don't, the child may come the next time, dead. Oh heavens~ What are my role as a paed nurse to protect the child? Ohohohoho...Payah. I am paning already~ :P

Enough chatter~ I am still being hyper about last nite~ Oh sayang~LOL....

Lurbe,
Kisho [229]

Too much lazy time..

I am still embarassed about last night. Or rather, I feel it was like a dream.

Woke up early today at the sound of my 'hulahulala' ringtone and read a SMS from my teacher. Replied lazily and yeah, after that I couldn't sleep again. Gulex-gulex tah daku on the bed while thinking of last night. Ooooh..I am excited. I am troubled. I am feeling butterflies again. I am smiling to myself like a fool. I am hugging my bantal close to my face that I can suffocate at any minute on my bed~ OMG...I need to put that memories aside for now. Haha. But I just can't stop!! LOL...esh3x...Kisho is very much, much, much excited today!!! Oh, I am smiling again by my own..hahaha. This is no good~No gooood~ No goooooooood....wait, it's actually goood~~ Very gooood~ Hahahaha...

Oh dear~ Oh sayang~LOL...wait~ I told myself to let go, aight?And yet, this...HAHAHAH! I am trapped in my own words and feelings~~~~ I am tormented!! I am torn! Hohoho...I am hungry..adui~ Guess I need to go now to munch on something~ :D Laters~

I'm yours*winx*,

Kisho [229]

"What do you really want? Your words or your actions? Shall you elaborate further for my stupid self? :P"

I am embarassed! Panash muha~

Pure embarassment. I can still feel my cheeks getting warmer as I recalled what happened just now. Oh God, I am soooooo embarassed!!!

Received a call from him, this afternoon. He told me about him got phoned by the MoH and he will be reporting for work next week. Excitedly told me about him at Sure Heboh's carnival and yes, he passed the phone to his cousin, Nurul, who was very excitedly talking to me as if we knew each other a lot. Aha~ and also she caught me speechless with her constant talking..haha.Pisan eh. Not to forget her enthusiasm in asking me the question "When will you and him get married? Bila kan dapat baby sal *him* ada bakat tu jadi bapa udah~"...Haha. I am embarassed~~Then his cousin said " He's ready ni...are u ready?" LOL. And I said " I'm ready anytime tapi ya yang nda sudi~" Hahaha. After that the cousin was asking me when shall we meet...ahakz.Aduima~Then after his cousin, he passed the phone to his auntie. LOL. Which was a great shock to me. Bwuh, first time tuh. A nice lil chit chat with her plus an intro of myself and then back to him again. He was enjoying it, teasing me with my fear of speaking to his relatives...And oh, I was actually quite speechless to say anything to him after talking with his relatives. Huhu. But I do enjoyed it though. Haha. Really wanted to say I miss him.Hoho. But dear me with my ego~ :P

Then I went to Potty's. Brought her out to have a lil bit of de-stressing session. Watched "Lantai 13" which was so-so. I am basically not an Indonesian movie lover. LOL. Laughed the entire time when I heard people screaming in their seats and I did get suprised at some noises. Haha. Membagi malu eyh~ Hawar aku~ Then out to karaoke session, dished out 5 songs. Huhu. Off we went to Q-lap Mall to get some gelato. Nyum, my gelato was Gianudia?? and Oreo while Potty had her Strawberry and Melon. Finished with a parched throat. Haha. Thirsty saya bah. And off we went to Potty's house, waved our goodbyes and I was on my own way back to my hostel.

At the hostel, Nurul greeted me with some gossips. Haha. Typical of us. And then I misscalled him and well, he phoned me as I requested. Haha. He asked me what to talk about, I was stupid to say I don't know. LOL. I am speechless with him on the line. Butterflies again in my tummy. Then he passed the phone to his sister. OMG...I was, erm, ahakz...I think I laughed too much for my own good. But I chatted with his sister for awhile and she asked me "Kawan abg ka or ehem2?" Haha. Damn eyh. Embarassement!! Huhu. My cheeks were getting hot and soon enough, the phone was passed to him again. Then not long before that, he passed it to his brother who,well, was shy. I was too, so we just erm..got into silence mode?LOL. Then he talked with me again, and I passed the handphone to Nurul. They were laughing as they teased each other and soon enough too, Nurul made me embarassed by saying " She miss you laaa..." Damn. Haha. Panas pipi ku eyh!! Nurul passed the phone to me and I was left talking with him but well, I am again speechless. Hoho. Too much excitement...

ANyway, that isn't the end of my embarassing moments. MInutes later, still on the phone, he passed the phone to...HIS MOTHER!!! HAHAHA...okay..I am really, really, really feeling MALU BERABISHLY!!! And yesh, we talked nicely and ahakz, his mother said to me " Lau ada jodoh nda ke mana..Makcik ada tips ni kan bagi ya suka ko ni lai.."...LOL!!!! OMG! And she started to say macam-macam which made me blushed hard. Haha. And lapas atu lagi, she said "Bila kan ke Miri lagi lai? Lau ke Miri atu, bgto ah sal makcik kan ikut ah..buleh kan?" Oh my~ LOL..pisan ku miani. Haha..AND I replied spontaneously " Aih, kan ikut? Buleh eh..Lagi ku suka lau babu ikut aku~ Suping tani sama2!"... Haha..gila~~ Then she said "Terpakai makcik rah mu ni eh lai..bagus ni lau ko sma *him*" HAHAHAHA...wow, kana bagi greenlite~ Hahaah..kana restui nyanta...and then I was like, mengadu...LOL..I said " *Him* nda suka kediaku bu..ya ingatkan urg lain ja..nda ya duli aku" and his mother was like " Yawah? Jahat c *him* ani eh..ndapa, amalkan ja petua yang makcik bagi ah...mujarab tu lai.." HAHAHA..OMG~ And I was like, "Insya-allah..akan ku amalkan bu..mudahan menjadi~" LOL..pisan2~~ like apakanz, collaboration taya plg ani..kekekeke...Gila eh, angau ku plg..hahaaha. ANgau dgn family nya yg sporting atu...kekeke. And at one point, the mother asked me " *Him* panggil ko alai ni...alai *insert my name*"...HAHAHAH....OMG~ palau2~ napa taya mama nya miatu atu? Aaahh...ke jiwa eh. Haha...My cheeks were flushed and hot with embarassment~~

After that, the mother passed the phone to him, leaving me with some motivational advices. Haha. And he was saying to me "Aih, bisai...geng sma mama. Kan ke Miri g tu eh..Bisai..becakap sama mama mertua~" HAHAHA...damn him!!! Cawir, cair...helep me~~ I am trying sooooo damn hard kan lari, tapi everything is soooooo membubut~LOL....Then he teased me about handing the phone to his father...WAAAAHHH!! I begged him not to..ahakz..ani macam introduce to whole family ni eh...BAKAL menantu??? HAHAHAHAHAHA....damn eh..HYPER ku plg ni...And he began to said " My cousin c Nurul tepakai dh kan ko tu..ani mama taya lagi. Mati eh." Hahahahaha....WOW~ angan-angan dan harapan semakin tinggi...tapi oh well, I can't do that~ Nda buleh berharapan tinggi. Hehe. Tapi I just can't deny that feeling of hope. Bwuh!! AAAAAAhhh....Before he ended our phone call, he said " Nanti tym gathering family ku, ku tpun ko biar smua cozin2 ku n relatives ku btpun sma ko...biar berkenalan"...Oh damn~ Segan i eyh~ Ohhh tidak~~I pemalu~ LOL..apakanz~

And all these made me think...what am I to him? Oh God..introduce2 ke family segala...aduima~~ Haha..I hate it when he said "Bh selamat malam ah sayang~" Palui2~ Kuat efeknya atu kali ahh..Pisan~and I sarcastically replied "Bh selamat malam abg~"...HAHAHAHA. Ketawa juwa ya, tapi macam mental juwa ya. Haha...oh God~~Don't make me put high hopes...nda ku rela~ I am denying that all that has happened is true, this may only be a dream...tapi ani REAL vah!!! Oh NOoooo~~

And so..abish cia. Aku malas kan taip lagi. Hyper ku masih ingatkan ceta ani. Oh God..aku malu~~ Me and my blabbermouth~ Ahh, segan saya eyh~ HAHAHAHA...Oh it's late~ LOL..kan kul 3 udah panya..Asyik juwa saya ani memblogging...:D Toodles~

Hyperly excited,

Kisho [229]

Shucks...apo ni connection no gud?!!

Can't upload lots of pictures for now. Connection arah Comp Lab at the College just sux a lot when I have the mood to upload. Pux eyh. Kinda make me feel damn irritated.

Anyway, I'll post more pictures as soon as I got a stable connection and as soon as I'm back from my home. I need to get home because my mom kept asking me to go home. Buring bah nada connection rah umah. LOL.

Hohoho. To Potty, bersabarlah teman ku...kekekee. And I enjoyed last night. Huhu.

And him? I am still damn missing him. *plays Kylie Minogue 'Can't get you outta my mind'* Oh well...this love tide ain't going low for now. *plays 'Tide is High' by Atomic Kitten* OMG~ I soooooo want to get rid of this feeling. Huhuhu....I need support! *balik2 perasan ku kna support tapi masih jua majal perasaan ku ani..kekeke* LOL...and a new love..Duh~ Macam tah aku lawa and sanang mencari...kekekekee...okay, I am outta my mind now...

Lurbe,

Kisho [229]

"Mind is to love, and love is to mind..."

P/S : Terpakai ku kemarin tym Emma got obsessed with singing 'Lelaki Ini', Me with my 'Kasih Tercipta' and Nurul with her 'Sebelum Cahaya'...and Potty? She's addicted to oldies merangkap Iklim's and Slam's songs...Hehe...

Pix and more pix..huhu..

Yesh, Potty wants to buy that book to enhance her Gynae's nurse skill...haha! Wanna be permanent eyh? :P
Aahh...here is Potty, being a model on my behalf.. Huhu... Doulos's mug~ I want one..but erks, nada money..:S
These books were bought by Emma, well, she's the only one with the money..huhuh..
Potty and me, still being vain while waiting for Emma to pay her books...

Potty : This lil adorable kid is our newest cam bitch member...

Kisho : She stole our spotlights! LOL..
With the new cam bitch, we became the 'Cam Bitches Trio'...when can we have a triad of cam bitches? :P
Our lazy afternoon, before going to the open houses...
Okay, do we look like sisters or what? Haha..now I see the resemblance!! LOL...No Pot, u will not call me 'kaka'...
Me and Potty, promoting beauty books?? Oh my...