A bit of short update on my love life...*sigh*

Here I am again...

Updating my blog with some crapness...Last nite was the day when I finally gave up on chasing HIM...I'm tired of playing this game of chasing HIM when it was obvious HIS heart is never going to be mine...And so, with HIS txt msg last nite at 1 am...I woke up with a relieved heart that he replied my txt msg...and after reading HIS txt msg, I found myself breathing in a sigh of relief...no pain in my heart, no tears to drop...I just looked at HIS txt msg and reflected back on US...I am a bit confused at how I feel...I'm actually sad for those words HE sent to me...I'm actually heart broken and struck down with grief...But, all that I did was finding myself replying to HIS txt msg and said,

"I'll end this chase because I've made a big decision for myself before you gave me your answer...I'll let you go..Thank you for those wonderful dreams that you've made for me..."

And with those magic words...a sense of freedom swept me...I feel again, relieved...I feel I'm changed to someone who wanted LOVE all this time into someone who find LOVE is not worth it yet now for me...I love HIM, yes I do...but if HIS heart is not for me, then who am I to change that? I can only change my heart...not HIS...I want HIM to be happy so letting HIM go is a way to make HIM so...besides, I hurt HIM and myself by still hanging on to our memories together...

I do still cling to the past...but not so much. I'm not seeking for LOVE right now and probably never will. My heart is sealed from LOVE...my coping mechanism protects me by letting me focus on my studies rather than finding another guy to replace that vacancy that HE left empty... I don't want to be in LOVE again...not yet. Please God...I'm not denying the fact that someone is meant for me in this life...but I am not able to accept another LOVE into my life yet...This heart will be kept locked...until the right key is put into place...But until that day comes, I am not going to fall in LOVE...

In the end...I finished my first love story with a sad ending...I do it in front of HIM with a smile but a mask of lies and tears is hidden underneath that smile...I feel free but my heart still bleeds deeply..a painful stab straight to its core, until this heart cannot feel LOVE anymore...cannot feel the wonders of LOVE again...I don't care what people perceives me to be...I am my own being.I am my own MASTER...

Lurve,
Kisho-Sama

=I would sacrifice anything in my power to get HIS love but...if HIS heart is still unchanged even if i do so..it would probably be best that I let go of that 'old blanket'=

Short update~

Adex & ShidaH 1st tym at Sushi Tei~

Potty's lunch set Chix Yakiniku...so yakin th ko udh pot mamam lunch set ah?LOL..:X

My lunch set...chix torikatsu..hauhauha...nyaman eyh..bg full da tummy..

Shidah termenung menengok da ice mochachino...kekeke..

Pot!! What happened to ur mouth? napa buka mulut? minta i suapkan ka?kekek..

Assalamualaikum...

Yo..sowie...patutnya ku update ni da bloggy with pixies and everything tp em..masalahnya...i forgot to upload da pixies rh my laptop and soooooooooo...nada th ada update...but now update is hereeee~~ malas ku ceta pjg lebar..just nengok da pix ja th kamu..

Again??! 3rd time at Sushi Tei!!

My dinner set...emm...in da pix, nampak da tempura wif onigiri and ebi gyoza...

Potty's dinner set...nampak da teriyaki chix , torikatsu and japanese rice with appetizers nya..hehe!

Ahh, mcm biasa~ Potty with her posing cawir mamam her dinner set...nyum2 usulnya Pot!! :P

Aaah...this is my dinner set, with cold cha soba (yg da mee) and appetizers wif kicap for da tempura and ebi gyoza~ Nyum2 jua da cha soba!!

Assalamualaikum peepz~

Here I am posting lagi pasal adventure ku with Potty dalam memuaskan pawut gendutz kami at Sushi Tei~LOL..waduh2...sungguh mengasyikkan...siuk2 ceta sal sushi2 sehinggakan kami pun go to eat sushi...and em, enjoy da drinks rah Sushi Tei~ Nyanyat eyh ke sana!! Hahahah...Potty, thanx lanja me...kekekeke...wlupun bkn full belanja-ing tp ku bersyukur jua pintu hati mu terbuka utk belanja-ing gue...Hahahahah....Nyum2 eyh...eat sana lagi nanti~ Tunggu pocket panuh with da money...kwang3x....malas ku kn berceta panjang lebar...just tgk da pix...sikit ganya..wawa, cos luan asyik bh da mamam ato!!! :p

Lurve,

Kisho-Sama

=I ate another raw egg at Sushi Tei~ Wahahahaa..nyum2 jua..hehe=

More pix at Sushi Tei~

Kubamz during K-Box session after going at Sushi Tei..cewaH!! High NOtes Songs plz!!

Teriyaki Chix rah Sushi Tei..emm, nyummy..wawa, Kubamz's order~
Bwoh!! Kubamz mare~LOL..membari ijap jua??! *Lari*

Potty : Srikandi Cintakuuuuu~~~~ *nyanyi dgn penuh feel*

Potty wif her aksi of tunjuk 'Kuat'...well..emm..we don't see any muscles there Pot..LOL!

Potty's 2nd round drink = Strawberry Milk Coolers...tertanya2 ku apakah benda putih2 yg ada rh gelas ah..emm..syabu???!!o_O
Erm...da results of our sushi-ing session..wow..sure a lot..*burp*

Ani my 2nd round order...nyum2 jua...but a bit oily...kekeke...sodap jua lah..:P

Aaahhh...Potty with her usual pose...Drooling over sushi..nyum2 bah..hehe..caught u again in that interesting pose Pot!! Wawawawa!!

Another nite at Sushi Tei~

Coke Floats of me and Kubamz...(2nd round drinks yampui2..LOL)

My inari sushiz with em...Kubamz's gakudon??Ngam ka tu?????Nda ingat eh da nama..

Kubamz's iced capuccino~ Nyaman usulnya...Kubamz' 1st order of drink..hehe

Aaah Pot wif her usual keraja..spying on da sushi2 going round2 near da table..hehe~

Kubamz also terinfluenced menengok da sushi going round2 near da table..nampak menarik2~

Assalamualaikum peepz...

Well, here are the pictures of my second visit to Sushi Tei~ Hehehe..malas ku kan cerita banarnya...i mean, malas kan menaip bah sebab I did a blog entry semalam but then due to da lagging-ness of da connection here at my room..semuanya tiba2 hilang...LOL..anyway...enjoy ja liat2 da pix...naleh ku eh..ngantukz~

Pix of a fren's wedding

A voice from da heart~

Just posting saja2 here...

I'm in a deep stress lately ani..ntah lah..I'm just f***ing unhappy with the way my life goes...Too much going inside my mind, too much I need to be responsible for..too much events...hahahaha..I'm totally gonna whacked my head if I get so much tension due to all of these...Kepisan eyh~ I wish I'm not who I am..I wish I can just go away from my life and live a life of another..hohohoh..macam tah dpt nya~ Lalalalala...No matter what, I feel like I need a smoke..hahahaha..sampaikan when I put it into my nick in MSN, some people tagur aku with their concerns and questions....Would I smoke???? Perhaps, maybe~ Ntahlah...I feel so stressed out, rasanya kan yell at somebody and just throw my rage at him/her!!! HOHOHO...oh be damned~ I'm stressed...

Besides, HE is also included in my stressful stressing dilemmas~hahahaha...damn HIM! HE's such a jerk...I HATE HIM! OH YES!! Damn it...damn it. Oh man...I take back my own words..I don't HATE HIM...I LOVE HIM, from before until now and into the future...oh damn it...S***!! God, help me~ He's making it all confusing and mixed up...and I just realized that my LOVE for HIM is not fading away, instead it's blazing in flames for HIM...no matter what HE does, I just can't shake that feelings for HIM...damn it~ Oh curse it all...

I'm sick of putting on my smiles now...I'm not happy..I'm not showing myself in front of everybody..I'm limited in my own body and thoughts of despair, of pain, of sadness...Geez...I need a break...I just need to cry...I wanna cry and just let it all out...even though crying is what I considered a MAJOR weakness...oh man~

In Distress,
Kisho-Sama
Min Macho (totally approval pending)

=Bring me back the one I love because with HIM, I have all the happiness in my life...*sigh*=