Today, my grandma sebelah my beloved mama passed away...time subuh tadi, just received my parents' SMS masa ku bangun tadi pagi...very sad...sedih ku nyamo...because batah dah aku nda jumpa my grandma aahh...i think last year kali my last time jumpa...batahhh juaaa tuu...aihh, rasa sedih ani campur guilty lahh...not being there to attend the funeral...:( sepanjang hari ani, kan menangis ja rasanyaa...time tutorial lagi aku nda concentrate...my mind just went 'poof'...just mengingatkan my family back there in Brunei...apa jua ku buleh buat, just keep thinking of it...:(
Kan tepon mama, takutku mikin sedih karang...tapi maybe I'll call her lahh karang...I don't know how to cope with this...kalau death ani, I dunno how to accept...very difficult...someone you are close with who suddenly died, just makes you wonder...when will it be my time??? Aiyoo...I tried not to show yang aku sedih masa ani...just acting tough...acting as if nothing happens...tapi..deep inside, aku sedih...alerr..tapi nda lahh sedih sampai kan meraung apa segala...just rasa atuuu adaa in my heart...oh yeah, my grandma bukan orang Islam...kan sedekahkan Al-Fatihah, I dunno dapat kah nda...runsing gituu...
erm...oh yeahh...aku sedih juaa kemarin lahh...aiyoo...c Harris kambang atuu...erkk, maybe aku ada feelings arahnyaa....tapi terbantut rasa nya disebabkan ia atu...aiihh, ia prefer my kawan...cehh, aku kan bawa berjumpa lagi tu time kami chat ahh...tapi tunggu aku balik Brunei lahh...tapinyaaa, ia suruh bawa my friend...aiyoo...kalau bab atuu, aku malas tah kan jumpa katakuu...kalinya ia cakap bah jumpa tah...heheh, pandai taktik ku ahh..tapi aku sedih jua sebab ia kata kan bawa my friend atuu jua ikut sama...:( sasakku juaa...tapi biarlahh...mungkin dia bukan untukku...cewahh!!
Update!! Aku tepon my mama tadi...sedih bunyinya my mama atuu...aduii, aku pon ikut sedih jua...terasa bah...from what I heard, my grandma nda mo makan bah, and so her albumin level also dropped and then, the nurses bagi injection of whatever, kata mama, durang bagi ubat penahan sakit...tapi nda lama lepas atu, my grandma died...:( Not that aku mo salahkan sesiapapun, tapi macam nda relevant da story...banar kah nda ubat penahan sakit kena bagi atuu?? or maybe something else?? aduhh...aku nda dapat cakap apa-apa...maybe andang sudah ajalnya jua...
Anyway, atuu saja kali..am not in the mood...ntah ehh...i dunno what to say...hopefully I will survive thru this...tapi memang aku survive lahh..ganya, hope I can cope with this eventually...:P
P/S: Kan upload gambar into bloggy tapi nda mo...kenapa ahh? ntah ehh!
ZC - Missing my late grandma suddenly...:(
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