Ah...another update!

I'm being 'rajin' today. Despite my sleepiness and my unending troubling thoughts, I am blogging away happily~ well, not really as happy as in really happy though...owh, I am hungry too. Really hungry and yeah, lonely...hahaha. Think I really need someone to hang out for the day but...who? Aaah, I am getting lonesome...Lonesome tonite~~~ ooh soooo lonesome~~~


Just blogging here to say something quite, um, interesting...I've been thinking about what people say in these past few months...What, eh? Hahaha...getting lots of comments about me behaving like a guy. Or rather, some new people who chatted with me sometimes mistakenly think I am a guy...Oh pleash~ Am I that boyish? Nda juaaaaa~ *pouts lips girlishly* Haha. But really, I am not THAT boyish...a bit but not too much. Haha. I act like a girly girl at times~ I do...but maybe it just doesn't show too much. Hoho. I do act 'bibiran' like a girl~ I play with my hair when I talk~ I get sensitive at sad moments and go 'awwwww....' at romantic films. Hehe..okay, does that convince you? If it isn't, I just don't know what makes me boyish~~~ Banarrrr~~~ :P


Skipping that up, I am currently finding myself thinking of him quite frequently these days. Wondering about him, his life now without me clinging onto him. Still in love with him? Not really, my heart just turned cold after I made that decision to let go. I really gave him up... I feel I can't receive love, just like the old me in the past, before I met him. It's as if I locked my heart away and threw the key so far away that no one can ever find it easily. Ooooh...scary. Maybe it's just my defense mechanism, trying to protect myself from heartbreaks...Haha. Will I ever find someone to find that key and unlock this chained heart of mine? :)


Anyhooooo~ That's all for now. Hehe. I am out of ideas. And my brain is limited in its capability to think due to my sleep deprivation. Owh God, I need to sleep...:(


Lurbeeeeeeeey blippy doo~
Kisho229

"This road of mine, I dare say is a wicked one!"

Top of the morning..*dead nerves*

Suprise~ I woke up damn early just to finish my extended project. HAHA. Managed to finish it, well except for my appendices which I am going to do soon enough..Anyway, my extended project's quality is damn not good. Huhu. Pisan eh. I know because I am a good critic of myself..hahaha, my self-criticism is improving over the years~ Lalalalaa..

I am tired..I think I'm having eye bags right now..Oh geez~ Later, I have a whole day of revision classes..wawawa. And I think my health is going to deteriorate due to all these restless nights and stress, I feel myself wheezing sometimes and I, um, left my inhaler back at home...oh-oh! Hopefully it won't get worst..hehe. Amin~

I gained back my weight, sadly and pathetically. Haha..benci ku eh. Blame it all on open houses during Raya. LOL..nda jua lah. My fault jua sal mom cooked yummy foods at home and I just can't resist that...huhu. Who could resist our mom's cooking?? :P But anyway, I am still going strong by not eating RICE!! Wawawawa...pun sia-sia eh..:( I miss eating chicken rice...bwuhhh...

And oh..I can't stop singing 'Cerita Asmara' by Dr Fazley. Wawawa...lagu klasik eh aku ah. I just don't know..kinda like that song. Now it's in my repeat mode in my Windows Media Player. Huhuh...sad and jiwang. Well, that describes me. Hehehe...:P Emo?? ;p

Lurbeeeee blup blup~

Kisho 229

"Can't stop the music~"

Blast me up!!:P

I am in the process of having a brain damage.Wawawa...This is what I get for doing a last minute work. Yeah, my stupidity strikes again!! *slaps self with a 'keli'* LOL. Anyway, I am taking a break a bit and just find that little mood of mine wants to blog. Ooooooh, how can I even spare a time to blog when my work is just waiting 'ampai-ampai' so I can work on it~ Haha. Malas ku ingau tym ani...I just need a break from thinking of my extended project walaupun suntuk berabishly masa masani!!! Oooooh...Kisho's going wacko!!! Aip,aip,aip...toinkz~

Exams are not too far away and I haven't revise. Not a thing. Haha. Pisan eh. I am really going bad this year. I'm just changing too much that I suprised myself with such horror. Ahakz...I need, need so much to change...esh3x..terrible eh~

Last nite I slept late, ada 'curhat' with Nuwul. Kinda make me feel myself relieved of some things that's been inside my head. I couldn't stop talking last nite, sampai karing leher ani wah..wawawa. Suprised myself too that I didn't cry at all when talking about him with Nuwul, about the letting go thingie. Maybe that old part of me is back, bwuh....She was suprised to hear me finally letting go and seemed a bit sad. Huhu. One thing that I remembered her saying was " He hurt you more than he himself has ever been hurt before...maybe one day he'll realize his loss.." Hahaha. Aiyooo, kinda make me feel like I am really stupid..LOL. One year plus of waiting, she said, is kinda torturous for myself. Hahaha. Suffering for the one I love bah...anyway, I am no longer doing it which kinda left an empty place in myself. That loneliness and that strentgh I am holding on to bury it all away from me. I find myself arguing about some things inside my head...Huhu. Buleh gila ni..wawawawa. I am someone yang suka pendam problems to myself and likes to think too much of things...like now?

Anyhooooo~~~~ I can't stop feeling flirtatious naughty nowadays..LOL. I think I am suffering from a mental illness, maybe Daus can confirm that? Hahaha...But with the extended project in the way, my flirty self is bound inside me...huhu. Ndatah dapat begatal ni.LOL..maybe it's the loneliness acting in its mysterious ways. Hehe.

Find myself attracted to the song "Whine Up" by Kat Deluna...huhu. Lawa badan nya. Grrrr....erks, I mean, she has a good body, nicely curvy...erm..apakanz~ Wawawawa...the videoclip was a little boring to me and the dances were...nothing to cheer about.HUHUHU...Well, I'm leaving you peepz with the lyrics...wawawa...sure tangkap body shaking punyerrr~~ :P

Whine Up - Kat Deluna feat Elephant Man

[Elephant Man]It's summertime
Ladies looking hot
Shaking up what they've got
Elephant Man and Kat, c'mon

[Verse 1]Senses telling me you're looking
I can feel it on my skin (Whoa)
Boy I wonder what would happen
If I trip and let you in
Don't get shook by my aggression
I just might be the one
Let's skip this conversation
Just whine your body up(Ha Ha Ha)
Don't wanna wait no more(Ha Ha Ha)
You got what I'm searching for

[Pre Hook]Cause I'm feeling your vibing
I'm riding high is exotic
And I want you, I want you here
Pull me closer and closer and
Hold me tight to your body
I wanna feel you, I wanna feel you near

[Chorus:]Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!
Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!
Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!
Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!
A ese nene lo tengo trikiao (oye)
Cuando lo bailo lo bailo de lao
Y lo empujo lo tengo tumbao
Con mis caderas lo tengo amansao wind!

[Verse 2]Boy keep doing what you're doing get me hot
Winding up your body you don't have to stop
My temperature is rising, want you more than before
It's an animal attraction, whine your body up(Ha Ha Ha)
It's the magic on the floor(Ha Ha Ha)
I don't wanna wait no more

[Pre Hook]Cause I'm feeling your vibing
I'm riding high is exotic
And I want you (and i want you too), I want you (and I want you too) here
Pull me closer and closer (closer and closer) and
Hold me tight to your bodyI wanna feel you (I wanna feel you too), I wanna feel you near

[Chorus:]Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!
Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!
Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!
Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!

[Elephant Man]Right here
Now bring your body to me right here
She’s got the finest body I fear
Shake your booty off
Shake it off in high gear
And she runs her fingers to my ear
And all the black mons got white fear
And she shakes her booty right here
Mow pump up the volume right here(Woah Woah Woah)
It's riffing(Woah Woah Woah)
Give me the whine now
C'mon!
[Chorus: 3x]Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!
Lo cuero, toca los cuerosLoca e que ta!!She's crazy!

Lurve,

Kisho 229

"Cerita yang lalu itu, cerita engkau dan aku hanyalah igauan yang lara...cerita membalut sepi, cerita yang kita bina bersama, punah musnah akhirnya..."

Flash update~

I am BACK!!

HOLIDAYS are almost OVER, which are 'tanpaku sedari'..LOL. Kinda it just flew passed me by in silence. Oh well, that's what time is. It goes without waiting for anyone, not even a mere glance. Huhu. We just have to grab whatever we can within it. Oh there it goes again, my ramblings~ My raya this year is kinda dull. I am bored. Huhu. Oh I forgot~

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI TO ALL~ MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN!! :D

I am stuck in my EP. Stuck in developing my action plan. And that is a plain crazy thing because I have to submit my EP somewhere next week. Hohoho. I swear, EP is one of the most ridiculously complicated thing you NEED to do to get a mere DIPLOMA. It's really overdoing it, I mean, EP is actually not in a DIPLOMA standard. IT should be in a DEGREE standard and I'm struggling with it pathetically. Plus with the lack of GOOD resources for articles, I feel I am on my way to DOOM...Okay, not to forget to blame me for my lack of motivation to do it. And I think I'm getting bored with studying. Oh yesh, my thirst for knowledge has decreased, dropped, plunging. Oh God..my parents will not like to hear that coming from me. They would burn me into the deep pits of HELL if I do say something like, "Ma, Pa. I think I'm bored with studying..I don't want to study anymore. Carikan calon laki ja. Kan kawin ku, byk kawan2 ku kawin udh~"!! Owh bummer...I think I should be spanked for that. Huhu...I am just joking though about the marriage part. Haha. So oh not ready yet~

Guess what too? I am FINALLY letting go of him. Yes, I am. Absolutely. I just realized something, coming to my rationality and senses. He doesn't care about me as I thought. And I can't make him love me again. No matter what I do. I give up after a long pondering. I was BLIND before. Totally. I am burying that love and feelings I have for him inside. Tanam and simen tarus. Goodbye love. Sayonara. But not entirely. He is still a friend that plays an important part in my life. Guess that's it. Friends.Tapi if ada jodoh, then it's fate. I leave that to God. Now that is done, I am feeling a bit lonely. Maybe I won't be able to love as much as before..Oh well, now peepz, your wish has come true...I am moving on with my sad life. Good thing eh? You peepz won't see me crying myself silly or being moody as much then. Bad thing? I guess I've changed a whole lot more...more to the inside than outside. Huhu. What are the changes? Jangantah tanya..sure will, not everyone will like it. Haha. Will I be searching for new love? Ahakz, awu..I will. Ganya miana kan mencari ani eh? Anyone has any bachelor male friends to hook up with me? Hehe. :P I need a wingman or a wingwoman nih~~ ;p

Owh...gotta go~ I need to get my brain reeling in ideas for my EP...HELP!!S.O.S!! Or rather S.O.B a.k.a Save Our Brains!!! Hahaha..me and my sick joke..:P Leaving you with a lyric from a song I just can't resist~ *hint* May express what I really feel inside...huhu..bunga2 eh ku ani..*hint*

"I Just Can't Live A Lie" - Carrie Underwood

Lately nothing I do ever seems to please you
And maybe turning my back would be that much easier
Cause hurtful words are all that we exchange
But I can't watch you walk away

Can I forget about the way it feels to touch you?
And all about the good times that we've been through
Could I wake up without you every day?
Would I let you walk away?
No, I can't learn to live without
And I can't give up on us now

[Chorus]
Oh, I know I could say we're through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

Could I forget the look that tells me that you want me?
And all the reasons that make loving you so easy
The kiss that always makes it hard to breathe
The way you know just what I mean
No, I can't learn to live without
Ohh, so don't you give up on us now

Ohh, I know I could say we're through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

Ohh, and I don't wanna try

Ohhhh, I know I could say we're through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

I just can't live a lie
But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

Oh, I cant live a lie [x2]

Lurve,
Kisho229

"Biar ku bawa harapan dan pendam rahsia..Dan biarlah dari kejauhan ku doakan mu bahagia tanpa duka dariku..."

Dun eat rice!! LOL..

Juz updating a bit~ Sal aku kambang ni masani..hahahaha..what for? what of? well...

I LOSE SOME WEIGHT!!! Yeeeehhaaaaaa~~~!!!

And now I'm so flattered and happy for myself becos I lose quite a lot..well, not really. Dalam kira-kira 3kg plus je dalam about a month. Hhahaaha.Tapi at least I lose some weight kan? And that was unexpected..aiseyh~ Healthy diet? Erm, nda jua la.Wawawa.Kontrol makan ja. Payah jua menahan iman kan makan itu makan ani...nyaman-nyaman lagi makanan di Brunei ani. Hahahaha. Puasa tah lagi. Wow~ menjadi I lose weight...ehekz *kambang beravis*

One thing I do to lose weight is..tak makan nasi la~ Awu, nyaman kali nasi ani ah.Staple food bah tuh tapi I'm avoiding it for almost a month jua. Ikut tips my 'stewardess' fwen yang cakap avoiding rice can make you slim down...wawawawa. So now, I am believing it pasalnya I never lose weight as much as this!! Well, except when I was in Australia plg sal masa atu, I mostly walk and walk around the city, window shopping and food options are kinda limited for me. Hahahaha. *kambang again and again*

Anyway, bah Pot..we're at the same kilogrammes masani. LOL..mari kita tengok siapa yang slim more lagi nanti. LOL..owh, I am sooooo body conscious beravis masani. All because of him tho. He's losing a lot of weight, nda g bepawut ya ah.No fun eh, nda dapat cucuk2..Ah, ndapa. Sanang jua for me and dapat tah bali baju lawa-lawa ni nanti di KL if I slim down a bit..wawawawa~ Dapat bergaya ni..Huhuhu. Gonna be sooooo vain toh di KL~ :P

Okay..atu saja dulu..

Lurve,

Kisho [229]

P/S : I'm worried about him...hope he's okay..and hope I'm not outta my mind a.k.a datang selahau for now..:S

Gagas update..lol

-Tearful week.
-Confused at how I feel and think.
-Feels fate is playing games with me.
-Wish I can just erase the past and live another path of life.
-First time ever I did something I'm not supposed to do because I was 'unwell'. Regrets it but I do need it.
-Spent a nite of sungkai wiv him and found it wonderful. Yet more things I know about him makes me feel I am weak and helpless.
-Hope God will help me and listen to my prayers...although I don't think I deserve to ask anything at all.
-Went to KB..cari ketenangan. Thanx to Potty.
-I am blogging in this way because Potty is in a hurry. Wawawa. Sabar Pot...

I am DONE!

Lurve,

Kisho[229]

"I love him, I love him...Ya Allah, dengarkanlah doa-doa hamba-Mu yang hina ini.."